Question:

How to get a pregnant 19 year old ready for the real world?

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My sister-in-law is 19. She gave up a baby for adoption in February. She is now pregnant again. Her parents kicked her out and she is now living with me and my husband. She is planning to keep this baby, but she is very immature and we aren't sure that she can do it. She doesn't have her license, she has never had a job and she has never paid bills. We are trying to help her get enrolled in college, get her license, and get help from the state. She will be starting a job a taco bell soon. We are trying to help her get prepared to raise a baby on her own, but we aren't sure how to make her see just how serious her situation really is. She is excited to buy baby clothes and read baby books. She isn't showing any concern about how she will support a baby or where she will live. She is use to having someone else take care of her. If we tell her to do something she does it, but she isn't showing any innitiative to do things on her own. We talk to her and tell her all of these things. She agrees and sais she understands. But her actions say differently. How can we make her understand that she needs to grow up really fast and that this is not just playing house? How can we make her see that she is on her own now, in the real world?

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  1. Sadly your sister sounds like she got very little in the way of life skills.  She really sounds like a child in a adults body.  Keep in mind you can only help someone a certain amount.  If you really want to help her . Help her to understand that she is a valuable individual that you have expectations for.  Unfortunately, there is NO quick fix for your problem, She needs some professional counseling to help her with all these issues you are putting out.  Your choices right now are either support her like she was your child or practice tough love.

    Sorry this isn'tt going to be easy for either of you.

    But onceagain, she needs counseling.


  2. diz wha you shuld do u shuld tell her dat you aint guna baby her no more...tell her she need to get a job...and when shes hungry act like theres no food inside the house and when she asks why say cuz you need to buy your own food....then show her what happen to kids like her and wat happen to them when theyre family then had enuff and if that doesnt work then im sawi

  3. No offence intended here, but does she have a learning disability? the reason I ask is you stated that " she agrees and said she understands, but her actions say differently ". she seems to have limited understanding of her situation.

    Her naivety is quite alarming, your description of her is more child like than adult.

    I don't think you can make her see that she is on her own, because she has you & her brother to look after her.

    I think you should get your sister in law assessed to see if she has a learning disability, if she does, she will deffinately need support.

    Perhaps you should consider caring for the new baby yourself, if you are able, rather than the child being taken off your sister in law & placed in foster care, with strangers. Just a thought.

    Good luck. X :-)


  4. okay i get where your coming frm my sister was 18 when she got pregant moved out of the house and thought she could do it on her own but she had to leave her boyfriend and she had her baby my newphew and is living back home. my mom told her she couldnt just play house made her get a job. she has to pay for everything for her son so she nows that she has to take care of him. she needs to go to classes to teacher her what to do. dont just let her seat around the house she needs to relize she is grown up now she went out and had s*x and made a baby so she now has to take care of him or her  

  5. That's just sad. People that can't get their own life together don't have any business bringing kids into it. Is she mentally retarded, or just somehow unaware of the contraceptives that have been available for the last 50 years? I'd say do the kid a favor and abort now, kick your sister out, and force her to grow up.

  6. I think there are mommy classes that will teach her the real world and have other teen moms there.. it is more a support group you may wanna check into that so that she can wake up  

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