How to get hubby out of bed on his own? very frustrated!?

Question

I don't get home from work until almost 1 AM, and my hubby needs to get up at 5 AM. He will not get up on his own at all, I have to set my alarm and wake him and then stay awake and keep pushing him to get up, he doesn't like to get out of bed and claims he doesn't wake up to an alarm. The truth is I have seen him get up with the alarm, he wakes up long enough to shut it off and go back to sleep! I am exhausted from doing this, our kids get up at 6:30 or 7(we have 4) and then i am up for the day,,, i could really use this extra hour and half to two hours of sleep!(I am also almost 18wks pregnant). How do I get him stop acting like a teenager about getting up in the morning? I have yelled, whined, cried, threatened, nothing works! I am not even getting a solid 4hrs of sleep here, i did not set my alarm this morning and he was almost late for work and he blamed me. HELP! how do i get him to understand this? he goes to bed at 9pm about an hour after he puts the kids to bed.

Answer 1

It took me five years to learn this simple lesson. If you stop getting him up and let him deal with the consequences on his own, he will start getting up on his own. I was just like you. I would get home at 1am, have to get up at 5 to get him up, then up again at 7 for the kids. After years of fighting and exhaustion, I sat him down and calmly said, I need more sleep and I am not an alarm clock. I will not wake you up anymore and if you get fired you will need to look for a second shift job (he hates second shift). Guess what he did get fired, started a second shift job, hated it, moved on to his current job where he now makes enough for me to stay home with the kids and I still don't wake him up. There are mornings when I will hear his alarm clock beeping for 20 minutes before he actually hears it and hits snooze but after 12 years he now knows he is responsible for himself.

Answer 2

Tell him you need a husband not another child.  It is his responsibility to get up on time for his work not yours.  Refuse to be his alarm clock anymore if he is late he will have to deal with the consequences.  However if ends up getting fired for being late then that will be bad for you and your family as well.

Answer 3

tell that lazy son of a gun to get his a r s e out of bed in the mornings and, you need to stop mothering him and waking him up. Let him be late for work. Tell him the evening before that you will not be waking him the next morning and, should he not get himself out of bed in time for work and he says even one word to you about it you'll phone his boss and let him know why your hubby is late for work. Then follow through with your threat. Also if needs be tell him to read these answers. He wants to think himself lucky that he doesn't get woken up to a face full of ice cold water!

Answer 4

Tell him "I am not your mother and I will NEVER GET YOU UP AGAIN"  

Then set your alarm for 7:00am and wake up for your children because you are their mother! ! !

Answer 5

I always found that a quart if COLD water works very effectively.

In the winter a large snowball is even more effective.

Let him know that if you need to wake him up that this will be the method.

I'm sure it will not take too many applications of this to get your point across.

"get yourself out of bed like an adult or I will wake you up like a teenager".

Answer 6

This is so not your fault! Don't let him blame you for his inability to get out of bed in the morning. Tell him to buy a better alarm clock, or even two. You are not his mother. If he wants to sleep in he can suffer the consequences.

Answer 7

As long as he is not in a position to lose his job if he's late a couple of times, let him figure this out on his own.  Stop waking him up and let him be late and deal with the repercussions at work.

* Or what if you set his alarm clock far away from the bed, so he had to get up and shut it off, you could also set it ahead some time, so he would think it was a lot later than it actually is, of course this will only work a few times, but if he's like me I am too lazy to figure out what time it REALLY is in the morning, so I just get up and check*

Answer 8

Tell him if he doesn't start waking up on his own you'll have to quit your job. Money talks..

Answer 9

Personally, I'd try either positive or negative reinforcement.

I'd explain your situation to him exactly one time.  Tell him you need more than 4 hours or sleep (personally, I've been sleeping 4 hours a night for quite awhile.  I know what you are going through, but personally I don't think it is so bad.  I usually just sleep for 12 or 13 hours a night on the weekends).  Tell him that you are not going to wake him up anymore.  He is a big boy and can wake up all on his own.  You are willing to help him find a solution if the alarm clock doesn't work, but he will be waking up on his own..soon.  Inform him that if he does start waking up on his own, you will do "X" for him.  If he does not, you will do "Y".  Leave no room for discussion and if he trys to rebutt just walk away.  Be prepared to follow up on what you say.  Don't be afraid to get extreme to get his attention.

You could always go sleep on the couch in the living room.  When you get home from work, just turn on the TV, lie down, and go to sleep.  When your husband blames you, just tell him that you must have been sooooo tired that you sat down to watch TV and you fell asleep.

Positive reinforcement ideas?  Only you can know what will motivate your husband.  You'll wash his truck, buy him a rifle, let him watch the football game on Sunday, etc.  How about if he wakes up all on his own, you'll jump in the shower with him on Mondays and ......

Negative Reinforcements?  These would be a ton of fun I think.  When he gets all PO'd, just calmly tell him that you warned him and go right back to bed.

--  Get a waterproof mattress cover and put it on.  The next time he refuses to wake up, go get a gallon bucket, go to the freezer and fill it with ice and water.  Let it cool for a few minutes, go upstairs and throw it on him.

--  Get some firecrackers and put them in a garbage can (preferrably metal).  Lights the firecrackers, throw them in, and set it next to him.

--  Air horn!  You can find one at your local sporting goods store in the boating section

--  When you get home from work, turn off the hot water heater.  I'm not sure if 4 hours is enough time for the water to cool, but he'll run out of hot water real quick.  Go turn it back on when he is in the shower so the kids have hot water.  When he says something, just say that you turned it off.  You thought the cool water would help him wake up in the morning.  You could also lie to him and say maybe the water will be hotter if he wakes up earlier.

--  When you get home at 1 AM, wake his *** up.  4 hours is enough sleep, right?  Use any method you can think of.  Stay up all night with him.  Anytime he threatens to doze off, wake him up again.  Keep asking him how it feels.  The air horn might come in real handy here.  Wake the kids up and make the baby cry.  Dump the kids off on him and say there you go.

--  Do you live out in the middle of nowhere?  If so and you have firearms in the house, take the screen out of the bedroom window, open the window, and fire a few rounds out the window (wear ear protection...the sound of firearms indoors is pretty loud).  If someone calls the police, send your husband down (if you have to go down, tell them you were out having a smoke and a racoon that looked like it had rabies was hanging out around your house and you were trying to dispose of it and missed...throw in your husband wouldn't wake up to help).

Answer 10

I've been married to a man exactly like this for 22 years!  If you figure out what works, let me know!  It is probably the thing I like least about the man, the thing that causes more arguments than anything else, and he still can't make himself get upright in the morning. I've tried putting the alarm clock across the room so he HAS to get up to turn it off, I've gotten the most annoying alarm clocks known to man, I've let him sleep way past time to be at work, and nothing seems to phase him.  I even quit my job one time, telling him that I had to because I wasn't getting enough sleep because I had to wake up and stay awake 2 hours every morning to get his happy azz outta bed...He didn't blink an eye, and told me he was happy I'd be staying home, so that he didn't have to help with the housework any more...Wish I could help you, but I sure don't have an answer!  Keep in touch if you get a resolution that works!

Answer 11

Get a alarm clock for his side of the bed and let him deal with it