How to get my 1st grader to not cry when I drop her off at school?

Question

My daughter is usually a very outgoing and social little girl. She started pre school at age 3 and was super independent in kindergarten, (all day class) until we moved this summer and she started 1st grade at a new school. She's been in school over a month and freaks out crying when I drop her off at school. I've tried the tender loving approach, I've tried the tough love approach, neither seems to work. I've asked her if she likes school and her teachers and she says yes.. She has friends who come over to play. Everything seems to be fine and good until we reach that classroom door. I know about home schooling, but it's not something I want to do, not cause there is anything wrong with it, it's just not something that would work out for our family. I'm at a loss as to how to get this freaking out stuff to stop. She knows I will come back and get her and honestly I know she's fine once I leave. Her teacher tells me and volunteer parents in the classroom have told me she's totally fine. I think it may just be drama for me... Any ideas?

Answer 1

Se what would happen if your husband, friend or neighbor drops her off at school./

Answer 2

Doesn't a school bus pick up kids in your area?  I would have her ride the bus.  This gives her more life learning experiences, helps her to become more independent and interact with other kids at the same time.  If there is a bus that picks up kids in your area, I think this is your best option.  I've never understood why some parents don't put their kids on the bus.  

If your daughter's teachers say she is fine once you leave, then I think it is just drama for you.  Kids will try different things with people, and once something works, or gives them the results they were looking for, the behavior will be repeated.

IF there isn't a bus for her to ride, you could try being neutral as far as your response.   Obviously, your daughter knows that she gets extra attention from you when she acts this way.  I would say that you could try just dropping her off, give her a hug and kiss, say have a good day at school, and leave it at that.  Don't show any hesitation about leaving her, try to be as neutral as possible, and she will eventually learn that she doesn't get extra attention by freaking out and it should stop.

I'm not saying be cold to her, treat her like you would any other time of the day, just don't play it up and make a big deal out of dropping her off.  

Answer 3

Codeine ALWAYS works.  Careful not to OD the child though.

Answer 4

It sounds like drama just for you. Have you tried if it is any different if your husband drops her off?

Otherwise you said the though love approach didn't work as well, maybe you should talk to her on your way to school. Tell her that you wont stand for her crying. She, her teachers, volunteer parents and other kids tell you she is fine, so give her a chance to tell you if she is hiding something, some fears that might be hiding from everybody else. If she can't come up with a credible answer, please ask her to stop it because she is creating unnecessary stress on the 2 of you. I normally use this approach with my daughter when I don't want something to happen and it usually works if I tell her shortly before the event what I expect of her.