How to get my 6 year old adopted daughter to pee in the woods

Question

me and my husband just adopted a 6 year old little girl stephanie. she was being raped by her dad and other family members and severly beaten by both her mom and dad. they neglected her. now she has troubles trusting other people. she hasnt said a word to my husband yet. and she will barley talk to me. we are going camping tomorrow and there will be no bathrooms around where we are camping. and i am trying to teach her to pee in the woods. i have tried teaching her in the woods of our backyard but she freaks out and thinks i am going to hurt her. she also gets scared to go to the potty even at out house. she holds it all day then she has an accident. when i try to help her clean up she cries and says "im sorry please dont hurt me im really sorry." i would never hurt her. i want to hepl her i want her to trust me. she is really excited about the camping trip so i dont want to just not go.

so basically i need help in getting her to pee in the woods and go to the potty?

and ideas on how to get her to trust me?

i will give 10 points to whoever can give me as much info as possible. please i really want her to feel safe here. thank you!!!!

Answer 1

I would offer her things :D

Like.. new stuffed animalss or moneyzz >:D

I would pee in the woods for that xD

Answer 2

As much as it would be a bummer to change your plans, that's what we do for our kids.  She is still having issues using the regular bathroom, I think it is way too soon to ask her to pee in the woods.  She needs more time and professional help to be able to handle the everyday things we take for granted, don't ask to much too soon.

Answer 3

Try buying pull-ups for this trip just so you don't force her to do it and whenever you go to the bathroom, just gently ask does she have to go or want to go like a big girl. She doesn't know you very well and she needs to learn to trust you and your making her use the potty and going in the woods probably triggers bad memories. Be patient and let her grow accustomed to you all. I'm sorry she had to experience this at a young age and as soon as she adjust to you, she'll be fine. As for the wetting herself, tell her that you'll never hurt her and that everyone has accidents at some time or another. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Wild idea, but what about reading an instruction manual.  If you've been back-country camping, then you should be familier with the book "How to $h!t in the Woods".  Many camping stores have it.  I know it would make for some strange "bed time story", but perhaps presenting the simple "facts of life" (for the subject matter at hand) might help.

Answer 5

Maybe threaten not to go if she can't use the potty/woods.

Answer 6

She just needs to learn to trust you. Poor little thing. Be patient with her. Constantly assure her you would never hurt her, and that you love her. She will eventually go. As far as camping goes, I would go buy a camping toilet so you can just set it up, and let her go on her own, if she will. I hope it all goes well. Good luck.

Answer 7

I'm sorry but I really don't think she is going to pee in the woods. So, I suggest buying a portable potty chair and let her use that inside the tent where she can have privacy and feel safe. And while your camping, when you have to pee, take her with you so she can see you comfortably relieving yourself outside and not being embarassed by it that is if she will go with you. Give her time to get to know you and your husband and be patient. She has been through so much horror and she has only been on this earth for six years. Also tell her that holding in her pee will make her belly hurt and make her really sick. Tell her that when the bathroom (tent door) door is shut and she is in there, no one will barge in on her because everyone needs privacy. Is she in counseling? Good Luck with your camping trip.

Answer 8

I don't pee in the woods either so i wouldn't expect a 6 year old to.

We have a camping potty that you can simply sit on and use like a normal toilet, when you go camping find a spot that his privacy set it up and probably put a tarp around the area so it feels like a real little private spot that someone can not happen by and see. That is about all you can do if you are insistent on going camping.

Overall though you better have the child in therapy because she needs it. She had a traumatic life before getting to your house and it was traumatic to move to your house as well because the life she lived before is all that she knew, you are strangers to this little girl. She needs professional help to sort through her feelings, to talk through her experiences and to teach her how to cope and build trust in others. You need her in both private and family therapy. There is nothing wrong with it and only good will come of it. It is something she desperately needs.

ETA: for the love of god do not put the child in pull ups, she is 6 years old and that is degrading. This is not her fault and it is not that she can not use the bathroom herself, she is afraid to use it. Putting her into 'baby' underwear is only going to solidify in her mind that she is being punished and done something wrong,she will probably fear the worse out of you if you insist she wear a diaper like a baby after you have been telling her it is okay when she has an accident.

Answer 9

say every time you use the

big girl potty ill reward and keep

saying things like i wont hurt u

i pinkie promise. and i love you this much and extend your hands out

and after you do that say a lot more than that.

if she is still not trusting you when you go camping and she has to go to the bathroom tell her to like go over by that tree and well stay here

or set up a little kids potty a couple trees over and tell her not to be afraid and then let her walk over their by herself so she knows you are not close enough to her to hurt her.

i feel really bad for her.

hope i helped.

Answer 10

try the adoption section (its under pregnancy and parenting), i have read posts from people that have adopted kids with some issues, maybe they can give you some advice about this.

Answer 11

I don't know how to get her to pee in the woods but I feel so bad for the situation she has been through. Bless her heart. I hope she is getting the proper therapy she needs. I hope the camping trip works out.  

Answer 12

First, it will take time for an abused child to accept another family.  Secondly, Yahoo Answers is not the place to receive help.  A psychiatrist or someone of that nature is the best bet.

Answer 13

I could give you an answer, but I don't want to take the time to think it through and type it out when this still sounds like a joke.  I wonder how you were allowed to adopt a child who isn't comfortable with you.  Parents don't just adopt a child who doesn't speak to them or trust them.  I wonder how any parent who was able to pass adoption regulations still types with out using any capital letters or correct grammar.  The way you described the situation, as well as the way you portray yourself just makes me feel like you're a troll.  If you really are telling the truth email me and I'll share my answer with you, but for now I'm not willing to do that.

Answer 14

She just doesn't feel comfortable enough with you guys to pee in the woods in front of you or near you. Maybe you should look into one of those outhouses that are just a tent with no bottom where you dig a hole or put a pot. Explain to her that it is just like a bathroom at home and that when she is in there no one else can come in, not even you or our husband. You can even help her make an "occupied" sign with her before you go. You should probably have the same conversation about the bathroom at your house if she is afraid to go there, and if I were you, and the child isn't even comfortable going potty in her home, no way would I try to get her to go in a new, scary, environment. Maybe you should hold off on going camping for a while.

Also, is the child in therapy? It may really help.

Answer 15

I would suggest not going on the camping trip.  You just adopted her, and she's probably having a hard enough time getting used to people in a home environment, and immediately changing it might be too much for her.  You could postpone the trip until she feels a bit more comfortable.  Forcing her into a situation like may cause more trouble then it would good.  Is the campsite you are going to have a outdoor bathroom that people can use?  Can you get a port-a-potty from a camping store?  That might help.

Answer 16

wow thats really crazy. well have you try pull ups buy them for her and if she goes on herself its okay she has pampers on. shes going to go when she start seeing that you not going to hurt her so dont rush her just try other stuff like pull ups. i hope i helped

Answer 17

Maybe you should POSTPONE the camping trip, until shes used to you and your husband a bit more, then she will feel more comfortale, you cant expect her to bear all  after all thats happened!

leave her to settle in before going on camping holidays. Tell her that the camping trip is, going to be almost impossible if there is no way she can use a toilet, maybe go to a proper camping site where they have on-site toilets.

Dont worry in time, she will learn to trust you and your husband more, and will seem more and more part of the family!

good luck!

p.s. if she sees other people urinating in the woods, then she may feel more comfortable.

Answer 18

It sounds like she needs more time getting comfortable with her life before being forced to go in the woods. Some adults who haven't been through what she has are not comfortable. And it seems cruel to force her. But if you really insist on going I would buy a camping potty. They sell them at all outdoors shops and walmart.