How to get my co-worker to shut up about his personal life?

Question

My partner who works graveyard shift with me is F to M trans-gender. He opened up to me about it a month ago, and dished his whole life story about the matter. I was fine with him telling me his story, but now that he's "out" he makes constant references to his transition like, "I miss the girls' bathrooms cuz they were so much cleaner," and "I'm sick of the hormones giving me acne." I have no problem with him being transgender, but he's making me uncomfortable with all of his personal information. How do I get him to stop without seeming closed-minded/prejudiced, embarrassing him, or hurting our work relationship?

Answer 1

Tell him in a nice but firm way that you don't need to hear all the intimate details of his transition.

Answer 2

Tell him you appreciate the fact that he feels comfortable enough to talk to you about his personal issues and that you value his friendship but all that personal information is a bit much for you to absorb at this time.

Good luck!

Answer 3

!! I had the same problem on my job and I work at night a 12 hour shift.  This woman kept talking aobut how she likes to tie up her husband and about freaky stuff like how her friend gave her a hand me down vibrator..gross!!...

1.  Just act uninterested....ppl will talk anyway b/c its night shift

2.  Change the subject

3.  Tell them that you feel uncomfrotable with them talking about those things, that  you think that its personal.

or interupt them put up a hand  and say thats not approiate to talk about, I would rather that you don't continue, no disrespect.

4.  Bring to work a book and start reading when they start talking

5.  If none of these things work, just walk off to the bathroom.

Answer 4

There is no polite way to tell someone to shut up about their personal life, but that doesn't mean you have to listen.  I suggest doing anything you can to appear busy and engrossed in your work.

I have a coworker who can't seem to stop talking about her personal life, either, including sharing stupid pictures and videos of her boring *** life, but I am usually to busy to jump up and stand by her desk to read her jokes, look at her lame pictures, watch her videos, or listen to her spin her yarns.

If I'm not really busy, I just act like it.  

Answer 5

That's a tough one. If you're mean he can say you're prejudice, but if you're nice he will go on and on.

I hate situations like this because I would rather be mean to get someone to shut up than to be nice and be bored to death all the time.

Answer 6

why don't you just be like, yeah the pus coming out of my v****a really hurts. oh wait, that's completely inappropriate! i feel like an idiot for speaking so BLATANTLY ABOUT GROSS PERSONAL THINGS! and then just stare at him.

Answer 7

next time he starts say to him, Ya know that light at the intersection right before you get to work?  (his response) Yea....  Well do me a favor and leave your personal life there and pick it up when you leave okay!  And smile, he will get the hint!

Answer 8

I really don't want to be rude.......but

enough is enough and to be fair, I've

heard a gutfull...guess what?   little Beckie cut her first tooth kept us up all night, followed by whatever you did on the weekend etc etc

or just be honest and tell the bloke that he's not going to be expanding his social network if he keeps banging on about me, me, me,

  

Answer 9

tell him/her that u don't care, but try to be nice about it

Answer 10

I think the answer is already here. I agree with the posts that encourage direct, honest communication. "Try to be nice" doesn't really help (sorry).

Here's my spin on some already excellent advice: in a nutshell, Ask For What You Want.

Tell him: "I need to talk to you about something very important." (That should arrest his attention). "Look, I appreciate the fact that you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about your personal issues and I value your friendship. Still, all that personal information is a bit much for me. Honestly Sam(antha), not to be rude, but hearing you talk about such personal issues makes me uncomfortable and I need you to stop. I respect you and," (don't say, "but" as in, "I respect you, but..."), "I need you to respect me by not involving me in such personal conversation. Will you do that for me, please?"

Then wait.

If s/he starts on a rant, etc. remain calm and REPEAT WHAT YOU WANT.

If he refuses to stop, I like the other post about just holding your hand up in the "stop!" gesture. Say, "Please. I've told you I don't want you to talk about your personal issues. It makes me uncomfortable."

If it persists, talk to a supervisor about what's going on and what steps to take. This dances all around 'harassment," and most employers will (or ought to anyway) take it seriously. Yes, your 'friendship' (such that it is) with the s*****e may suffer, but true friends don't make one another uncomfortable. All the more so for co-workers.  

All the best.