How to get my friend to start talking to me again?

Question

Well there's this girl named Nycole, and we use to be pretty good friends. However, than I had an incident with her best friend Alesha (sent a picture of her in her bathing suit on her phone to my phone, as a joke, but she fell asleep so I couldnt tell her. The next day I showed Nycole stupidly). Also, she dated a guy who was a real jack *** to me (noone likes him). And now she won't text me and my friend says she thinks I'm a creep. She use to call me her "Sweet-Monkey" before all this stuff happned. How do I make things right? We're both sophmores, and I want to make things up for alot of reasons.

Answer 1

ask for a apology,.

nd try to approach her.,.

even if she will ignore u.,

dnt stop.,.,bcoz later she will see

ur sincerity dat u wanna compensate

for d tings u hav done.,

nd den she will talk to u.,just show ur sincerity.,

den do such tings that could hurt her or something

Answer 2

Hey -- I can totally understand the innocent misunderstanding turning into a loss of friendship.  It's frustrating, hurtful, and a loss of trust for you in her, as well, I'm sure.  However, sometimes folks use this technique as a control mechanism... they want to feel like they have some power in the situation, so they withdraw.  It's also called stonewalling or the cold shoulder.  Sometimes it's done on purpose, but often it is just a natural instinct.

Remember that it is important to connect with the feelings of someone who is hurt, whether you feel you should apologize or not.  It helps to say, "I'm sorry you got hurt," instead of, "If I hurt you I'm sorry."  The first one communicates sympathy, which most people want, the other communicates defensiveness, which most people don't want.  The first one also keeps you from apologizing, if you think about it, if you feel like it wasn't something you're clearly convicted in your heart about doing wrong.  I usually pray about things like that, because it's super easy to feel guilty before your mind is clear on who-what-when, etc.

The next step?  Give her the space to cool off, and communicate her hurts, but then stick to your guns on your love toward her and your apology if you had to make one (the key word there is, ONE.  You only need to apologize sincerely once -- even if they want you to do it more to make them feel better -- it's just another control mechanism, since they felt out of control when the whole thing happened.  Just say sweetly, "Well, I apologized; so... what do you want to do?" -- that's sometimes all it takes to snap someone out of this (unconscious) manipulation).  And keep telling her that you care about her, if need be.  It might help to speak in multiple love languages (acts of service, gifts, quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation).

Honestly, sometimes you cannot help but lose friends.  They are not always the people you HAVE to make up with if you want to succeed in the long-run (like a spouse).  They are sometimes only around for a season.  Sometimes someone who has been a friend for a long time will turn into someone you don't need to hang out with anymore.  It happens.  It hurts.  And it needs to be okay if you don't want to get into co-dependency.  Invest in good friendships where you can be yourself, be honest, make mistakes with each other and just laugh together.  You start the trend, and you'll find yourself the creme-de-la-creme among those in your community, as they learn how to have a better time from you, with you.

Hope this helps.  God bless.

Answer 3

All relationships are a two way street. If she doesn't want to talk to you, there is nothing you can do about it. and a lot of times, trying too hard makes the person even more angry.

Just relax, get other friends and don't worry about it. She might come back when she sees that you've gotten over her (alot of women are like that) and if she doesn't, then it's her loss. Right?