How to get over being dumped?

Question

i'm 22 and was seeing/dating this guy over the past 1 1/2 year everything was fine than he just distanced himself from me...I know the reason is due to the fact that he found himself someone new...and i am really hurting right now because now i feel like i'm not good enough or worth it and i keep asking myself over and over what's wrong with me...whats wrong with me looks or my personality...how do i get all of these negative thought out of my head?

i did not post this in singles section since most people on there are 15 and really immature

Answer 1

Just keep on telling yourself that it's not your loss. That is true. He won't find anyone else like you no matter where he looks. If he's found someone new, let him be, just you wait and see, he'll be knocking on your door and begging you to accept him. Just keep on being optimistic, and while you're at it, try going to the gym or going to the beauty parlor to improve yourself more and to bring back your self-confidence, at the same time, your mind gets off your problem. If that doesn't work, try to find something that would occupy both your time and your thoughts... You just need time... Hope that helps...

Answer 2

Just be happy it's happening now and not in another 1 1/2 years after you got married with kids.

Answer 3

I can completely relate hun. It's tough. I was in a 5 year relationship and out of the blue it was over. I was very down on myself for a while and then when I least expected I met my husband. After meeting him I realized how wrong my ex bf was for me and it wasn't my fault we broke up, some people are just not right for each other and it's neither person's fault. You will find the right person. Think about it this way too...if your now ex didn't like your looks or personality he would not have been with you for a 1 1/2. People date, and people break up. Don't worry you'll find the right person. Keep your head up. :-)

Answer 4

Tuco believes that you should just try to figure out what you learned and move on.

Tuco understands you are hurting... been there!!  However; I am concerned that you are determining your worth as it compares to someone else or something else he chose.  Not a good idea.  Honestly it isn't about you, it's about him.

Time to move on, live and learn.

Adios.

Answer 5

think in terms of His Loss and You Can Do Better when your ready.

No rush, just when you feel your ready.  Only you know yourself - when that will be.

Answer 6

You don't need to hit urself over the head about this we can think of so many ways why guys act the way they do but most do find someone and then want us to think it us but it is not guys get bored then they move on! so just enjoy ur memory's u had but u are 22yrs old enjoy life and don't worry about what people tell just know it ur heart u were the best gf ever and he does not deserve u at all!

Answer 7

take some time for yourself and maybe keep a journal of this experience.  its hard, rough and sad.  I know.  but believe it or not it will heal in time.  And while you could probably list your own flaws all day ( I know I can ) remember he has his flaws too, and was obviously not thinking right to do that to you.  things dont work and I think as women we get too wrapped up in everything being a fairytale and forget that c**p happens and thats why we're devastated when it does happen.  Maybe take a vacation w/ a good friend or spend time w/ your family.  It won't just leave your thoughts over night.  I still think about things that happened years after it happens.  Eventually you'll see why it happened.  Hinesights 20/20.  (or however it goes, but its true).  Try your best not to talk to him or let him talk to you.  If its meant to be it will happen in time.  Don't rush it and trust that God has plans...and right now it just sucks.  it will get better and let me know how it goes.  Im just about your age so any help I can give I will!!!

Answer 8

when my ex left me i imagined it was because i wasn't as pretty as her, or smart, i imagined it was all my fault, it took its toll on my ego and self worth.when someone leaves us for someone else all kinds of things go through our heads, irrational stuff.we give them all this power, but in reality we should never base our self worth on if we get dumped. because things always happen for a reason,god's will is best, because he can see behind it all, he can see the future and we can't. when we are dumped, it inflicts a special kind of wound on our ego, where we compare ourselves to the other woman,blame it on maybe there was something the matter with us,but in reality there was really something wrong with the person we were with. sometimes things end because something much better is right around the corner for us. just trust in the universe that it knows what u need, and that this person would only have hurt u badly had u stayed with him. its not about u, its him.your the lucky one having gotten rid of a bad egg,before u married him.there is no use asking why, as there is really no clear answer.

Answer 9

Well If I was you I will move on and find another person who likes the I look. If you are not a bad looking person then it will not take you long.

Answer 10

You do have a right to be hurting but i wouldn't worry wheather it's your looks personality etc, because i'm sure you're a fun, beautiful, inteligent woman. This guy sounds like the type that just hang around for a while and then run off when HE thinks there's nothing more to do. you should be getting back up on your feet having fun with your mates,  because in the end he'll see that it's his loss after all and that he probabally made the biggest mistake ever by letting you go.

Answer 11

Learn your lesson, forget the guy, and move on. Let it go. What's done is done. Now you're smarter, stronger, and better off because you are finally free from someone who doesn't deserve you. Make yourself prettier (workout, new hairdo, etc...). Do the things you used to do that made you happy and go out with friends who make you happy. Do not limit yourself to this guy. Most importantly, do not jump on the next guy that comes along. Get to know them first. Stay away from guys with negative intentions. Don't waste your time on someone who is not right for you. Hang in there and the right one will come. Be patient.

Answer 12

Aww....come here baby...you'll be alright, poopsy!  Give us a hug now!

Answer 13

Don't beat yourself up over this, he probably wasnt worth the time you spent.

Let it go, move on, theres nothing wrong with you, this just happens sometimes. You are so young, go out and have some fun!

Answer 14

okay the first thing you need to do is hang out with some friend this will totally take your mind off of him while you are with your friends talk about things that make them feel happy, if you want change your look think of what he likes in a woman and go after it even if it's loosing a couple of pounds cutting your hair or even wearing makeup on a day to day basis. turn yourself into the total opposite of what you are and not only will you get the attention of other guys but you will get his attention once again but by the time he comes around you will have so many guys to choose from til you will look at him and say why did i date you again.

Answer 15

You need to find a rebound boyfriend.  Use him, abuse him, then kick him to the curb.  It helps in the healing process.  He will worship you as if you were a goddess or a queen.  You will take what you need from him and then stomp on him.

I would like to humbly offer my services in this matter.  I will go into this relationship knowing what the outcome will be.  My price is probably the best when you compare.  Go ahead, shop around.  You'll see.

Answer 16

Do not bring yourself down because some lousy guy left you. It means nothings wrong with you, he's the one with the problems, it just means hes not the one for you. You will find that special person someday. Because he will love you for who you are and not how you act or how you look. Don't be hurtin, be happy. You'll find that special guy. :]  

Answer 17

Just remember that time heals all wounds.  Getting dumped sucks, but we've all gone through it.  I've learned from personal experience that it's not necessarily either persons fault.  Sometimes people grow apart.  Instead of nitpicking at the problem, look at the positives.  At least you found out you weren't meant to be, and you're young.  Go out with your friends and have fun...trust me, the pain will pass!

Answer 18

Ok you need to take a vacation and get to know new people. Get a new interest or read some really good books. Books always cheer me up. Chocolate too! :D Good luck. ( :

Answer 19

We can tell you things that you will believe or brush off but five years ago, I was in a similar situation as yours before I found my husband. I had no one to talk to and no one made sense to me. I will tell you and I hope you listen to my advice b/c it will help you from years to come.

Buy that book, "It's called breakup because its broken." Many people don't listen to me but it helped me sooooo much. I was so hurt and sometimes the best way to get over it is not time but boosting your selfesteem and LEARNING what went wrong and how to prevent it. I was as picky as they came and I was so hurt and that book helped me so much. Go to the book store or online and check it out. It will help you. Good luck to you.  

Answer 20

Get out, meet new people!  Try spending more time with positive people.  Him seeing someone else had nothing to do with you, people change and so do their interest.  Stop coming down on yourself!

Answer 21

We have ALL faced this when we were cheated on, or rejected like you were, but the only way to deal with it, is to cry, let it out, deal with it, then move on. There is no magic pill, or easy way. I cried enough tears to float a battleship, but am proud to state that afterwards I have moved on, and have a Lady in my life that thinks the sun rose on me this morning. You are not the one with the problem...he is. The only good thing is that you now know how he is, and can be thankful that you were not married to him......Good Luck! Chin up! WE think you're beautiful, and worthy!!! There is a good man out there that will think that too.....now, go find him!!

Answer 22

Start going out with friends and have fun. As time goes on you'll find your true love.

Answer 23

Don't you dare let this loser get you down on yourself.  Maybe who or what you were wasn't pleasing to him, but that doesn't speak for the new guy. What new guy?  The one that you will soon meet. You couldn't meet the new guy because you were holding that selfish inconsiderate piece of trash. In the mean time in between time hang out with your friends, get pampered. That should be refreshing. Take some time for you, get to know you, love you. Surely after all of this it won't be long befor NEW GUY shows up.