I decided with the vets recommendation to put my 1 1/2 yr old male rat Toby to sleep yesterday at the vet which was really hard for me because i was expecting it sooner or later but always had hope that he would get better. He was really ill with a serious respiratory disease which had spread through his upper respiratory tract and affected his balance, his breathing and his appetite. He has been on a few different medications to try and combat some of the infection and supress the symptoms but non of them were successful because the bacteria were living inside his cells. He couldnt eat or drink on his own and he was like a baby to me and i formed a really close bond with him. Every time i opened his cage he would jump out, run up my arm and snuggle into my neck, he was really affectionate and i enjoyed his company. He was very small and skinny and he relied on me allot to survive, i fed him baby food by hand and always gave him plenty of cuddles and checked him frequently. I just feel so upset that I didn't take him to the vet sooner to be treated early. The veterinarian told me even though the medication he was on was helping him survive, he would never get better and would continue to worsen. I'm just so upset and have never felt so upset about one of my pets dying before. I don't know how to overcome the sadness and guilt that I didnt get him treatment earlier, part of me knows it was for the best because over time it would have been harder and harder to let him go and he would have gotten worse and felt more uncomfortable. I havent stopped crying since he was put to sleep. I just became so attached and now I really miss him and want to cuddle him. What can i do because im so sad and blame myself for him being sick and i miss him so much :'(
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