How to get over the loss of your son?

Question

He was 34 and doing well for the last few months. He had a renal problem which he did dialysis for the last 16 years. He die on my other son's birthday. We were so close and now I just have emptyness. He was so liked by so many people. It just isn't right. The whole in my heart is so vast and the pain so intense. My other son has to with his children and can't be here for me. It is his way of dealing with it, but I need to have him close now and can't. Help! I cry all the time.

Answer 1

He sounds as though he is a wonderful son, who had a rough and painful existence.  You must have great memories, and you must also think of those memories every time you think of him. Every time you find yourself focused on the loss, try to think of those things.  The good outweighs the bad, and you have to want to see it that way.  Every time you do it you will gain strength, and peace. What ever occurs after this life has to be magical, and he is now part of that magic.  I praise you for your courage to ask for help, and hope you find some comfort.  

Answer 2

sry bout him

talk to people and vent ur feelings

Answer 3

i am sure sorry. i had twins 11 yrs ago and when they died i was so sad. i know your pain. i didnt have my sons for 34 years so i guess you have many wonderful memories. there are stages of grieving. you have to go through each one, it takes time. you will always remember him and it will hurt but the pain you are feeling will subside. do you have family and friends close. you may need them for support. remember everyone deals with death differently. allow your other son to grieve in his own way. and you need to also, if you want to laugh and smile about your lost son dont feel bad to do so. if you want to scream and cry  so be it. of course you want to be healthy do not start drinking or other quick fixes. this is not something that goes away over night. i really do understand and my heart goes out to you. only time will heal this, just ride it out the best way you can. bless you  

Answer 4

unfortunately you will never recover from the loss of a child ,i know from experience.

all you can do is find someone who will listen and let time help,if you feel the need please email me and let it out, i wont mind.

theres no other way out except to talk and let it out that way

Answer 5

My deepest condolence to you and your family.

Crying is healthy and only time will heal your heart. When we lose someone we cannot help but to hurt mentally and physically. Unfortunately there is no quick fix to make your pain go away. Just remember that he is in a better place and is no longer sick. I cannot say i know what your going through because that would be a lie but I can say that you will feel happiness again. As far as your other son you should just tell him that you need him right now. Tell him that you need him to help you through this.  I do not know if your a religious person but if you are then please turn to it and allow your faith to help you. Again, I am sorry to hear about your loss  

Answer 6

i am so sorry about what happened , unfortunately we all are going to have to deal with this same kind of loss...its hard to accept but what you need to do is keep your self busy . get into reading or exercising .whatever you do just don't give yourself time to just sit there and grieve on what has happened. a bit is alright now and then but don't let it consume your entire life.I'm not trying to sound insensitive its your son! but you need to worry about yourself too, its not good for you to be terribly sad all the time .i hope this helped best of luck to you . and I'm so sorry !

Answer 7

Friend, Losses r bound to happen in this world and its very real. You cant help it. U just open up,go outside and mingle with others. There will be somebody who needs ur help and care and love. anyway I would like to chat with you. Do send me a mail. Let ur first friend in this is me.

my id is [e-mail].

Good Luck.

Answer 8

well you are lucky to have only good memories with your son... my mom had the worst ever memories with my bro her son.. he asks my parents money and disrespects them for his gf... he'll forget our bdays and will celebrate with his gf for 2 days on hers... i am not jealous and accept his privacy but he then must move out... so enjy the good memories and keep his love alive and let it be a shining light in your heart... be proud he can touvh your life... good luck...

Answer 9

Hi..my heartfelt condolences..We all can understand ur sorrow..death is sure for all of us..jus tht we dont know when.

Ur other son is of course very sad..but at the same time he s got family to take care as well hence he s focusing on tht to take his mind away from the similar pain ur goin thru. Let him be..

Ther r no words to console a loss of a beloved person but i jus wanna say be strong..life goes on till its our time. Being alone is jus gonna increase ur sufferings so plz go out and meet ppl..attend religious meets. Walk in the park..make new friends, if u have any hobbies continue it..take short trip somewher. Change of place will do u gud.

No pain is too impossible to deal..god will not give sumthin beyond wht human cant face..we jus need to use our inner strength. Death is the worst i know..but ppl have lived past tht.

My mom is very close to her father but separated oceans apart..he died wit out any ailment and it came as a big blow. My mom couldnt see her father till the end. I never thought she ll come out of it but she did...I dint see my grandpa for 4yrs due to my medical studies. He s my motivation all these while and i wanted to see him wit a degree in my hand...but god planned sumthin else..

Im a medico and iv seen deaths..and the family members...deep within i know wht i feel jus to see it happenin to others. Its a loss one cant replace but u know wht..Pain will not be for long. God take sumthin away to giv sumthin else. Believe it..U have wonderful memories if ur gud son. Its a gud feeling tht he s loved by all. He s been gud human being and god knows thts why he wants him wit Him...Dont u worry...u ll be alright..

Answer 10

Oh girlfriend, Life goes on here and grieving is good here and its will be better soon! I'm very sorry for your lost here!

Answer 11

counseling