Question:

How to get over these feelings of inadequacy?

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I've been with my bf 9 months and over that time have met his parents and siblings. They seem to be accepting me and inviting me along to family gatherings and I enjoy spending time with them, so things seem to be going well.

I feel a bit inadequate around his sister though. I'm not even really sure how to describe my feelings, but I think I envy her because I find her really beautiful, and I know that growing up most of my bf's friends would tell him his sister was hot, and I guess I'm a bit insecure because I'd like his friends to think his current gf is hot and I feel like I don't measure up when I compare myself to her. I don't know why I do this. I also think she's a great person, and I'd really like to get to know her better. He's told me she thinks I'm "fun and cool" and I think the same of her.

Recently she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and when their family took her out to dinner before her operation, they invited me along and I've felt a bit closer to her since then. Apparently she told my bf that she felt she connected with me more that time, and I felt the same way. I'm really sad to hear about her cancer and I want to support her, but I also really admire her strength. She is being so positive about it, and making the best of life, and I feel almost inadequate because I don't think I'd have that kind of strength. I want to be supportive during this time, but it almost seems that she doesn't need it, she's doing so well...

I guess I think she's a great person and I feel like I don't measure up in terms of beauty or strength or in any other way I might compare myself to her. I want to get over this envy and feeling inadequate, but it's hard because I feel a bit nervous around her. I guess I want her to respect me like I respect her and because I'm nervous I always feel like I'm saying the wrong thing or acting weird.

How can I get over this and show her how I admire her without making her feel awkward about it so that we can get to know each other better and be closer?

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  1. Watch and Learn. Not only is she beautiful, but apparently she has a beautiful heart. Beauty is only skin deep. You may feel inadequate around her because of her beauty, but look deeper. It's like the saying says...Beauty is as Beauty does. Can you only feel adequate around mousy looking people or selfish unkind people? If your boyfriend is proud to call you girlfriend, then he passed up ...'Beautiful" because of who you are. How wonderful and beautiful should you feel, from the inside which will shine on the outside. This beautiful girl, with her beautiful heart seems to be reaching out to her beautiful friend and together you guys embrace this newfound friendship. Having beauty within yourself shines as you show caring, loving, compassion and confidence in who you are....Good Luck and Good Luck to your New Friend

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