How to get playmate ?? I am a foreign mom with 13 months old toddler. I don't have any closed friends?

Question

and miss that feeling a lot. I am worried if I can find a playmate around neighborhood for my girl. I am friendly, but I feel lots of people around (my neighborhood) even they are friendly are not in the mode of easily welcome new real friendship. (Just only say hi or nice greeting, that's all). Probably they have realtives and networks of friends around so they don't feel want to learn more/ establishing deeper relationship with neighbors. So, I feel lonely sometimes, but that's not a big deal because I can find things to do. The only concern is I want to my toddler to have friends and know/learn about real friendship. She is social girl and content. My questions is how can you get the playmate for your toddler?? I am a foreigner and hardly have things to offer. (ie. my house is too small for a big play area, etc.) Things here are new to me . I have a difficult time adjusting to it (though I thought that I know lots of american culture before coming here)

Answer 1

Take your child to a playground or a park where other children are playing. Introduce yourself to the mothers and get to know them.

Answer 2

How about asking your health visitor about mother and baby groups that you can go to...also you can take your daughter to the park etc, and just start chatting to the other mums there.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Go to parks in the area when you can. Try a site like meetup http://www.meetup.com/ to see if there are any playgroups in your area to join. Also, go to your local library as they normally have storytime or other types of activities for children of different age ranges.

Answer 4

I have the same problem.  I have lived here for years but I will always feel like an outsider.  Sometimes I feel that because I may not express myself the same way that others do, some people seem to treat me like I'm stupid.

For your child, the best thing to do is to involve them in activiites - sign up at the Y, Gymboree, etc.

Answer 5

You should look at your communities/cities website for things to do for kids.  We have a "family centre" here and I take my children there to play with other kids (they have all the toys and stuff to do), and there are other moms there to visit with too.  We have a free spray (water) park, lots of kids there.  

What about playgrounds?  Are their any around you?

We go to the library, they have lots of good kids programs for free, puppet shows (tons of kids and moms), singing programs (basic twinkle twinkle).  

I have tried many things too, we live on an acreage, and there is no kids around here for miles.  I have to take them in to the city to see other kids, or invite people out here.  Good luck.

Answer 6

Look around your neighborhood for local play groups, ask a neighbor that you see around town ferquently with a small child if she would like to come over for some cofffee and your children could play for a while. children can beeasily occupied. as long as you have SOME space, and a few toys you can make things work.

and before you leave tell the mom, feel free to stop by again whenever you want and give her your phone numbers and stuff and tel her you are intrested in your daughter having a friend and that you are not from america. good luck! :]

Answer 7

HI....well I have been in your position before.  Years ago when my two oldest boys were very little I lived in Germany for 3 years. making new friends is difficult and I know how lonely it can be.  When you are at the park try starting up a conversation with another mother don't be shy!  And if you have an accent don't worry about it.   Once you have started talking...keep up the conversation and then make a date to see them again. You could ask them to meet you at the park for a picnic or just a play date for the kids.  Believe me, mothers are always looking for playmates for their kids and friends for themselves as well.   Don't wait for friends to come to you, you need to be pro-active and make the friends.  Sometimes people can shy away from meeting new people but soon open up when they are approached by a friendly person.  Good luck and hang in there.  It will get better.

Answer 8

Try http://groups.yahoo.com and search for "MyCity playgroup" or "MyCity moms".  Of course, replace MyCity with the name of your city.  More than likely, there is a playgroup near you that you could join and both you and your daughter could make friends.

Also, try your local library-they have a (free) storytime for toddlers once a week or so and there will be other moms and children there.  You can ask the librarian and/or them about playgroups as well.

Have you considered a Mommy & Me class?  They have them for gymnastics and other activities.  That would be another resource for you and your daughter (and fun, too).

If you are like me, you are shy and you might have to build up your courage to start more than a casual greeting.  Next time one of your neighbors say hi, ask them if they can recommend a good restaurant or something.  If they have children, ask them if they can recommend some things to do for children in the area.  

I hope this helps, and I wish you the best!

Answer 9

Check your local newspaper/newspaper website and google your city. Chances are you will find a local "moms" group. I have found that most times the playgroup meets at different public places like zoos, parks, etc - so you don't have to have space. So that is one way to get started. While your on these play dates, take time to get to know different women to see who would be a compatible friend. Then you could invite that person over for coffee/playdate.  Another place to look since you are not only looking for friends for your daughter but also for yourself, is church! I'm not sure if you have a religion or not, but I recommend any Bible based church. Many contemporary churches now also have "small groups" that get together either monthly, or weekly or bi-weekly.  Usually you join a group that you have something in common with - like children! So that would help you both! Once you involve yourself with a small group in church, they become like your family. It sounds like you really need that! Motherhood can be so stressful sometimes, it's too hard to go it alone! I think this would be a great solution for you. Best of luck to you!