How to get rid of my older brother for good!

Question

I really hate my brother! he is never a good older brother to us! he is uneducated, he didnt finish schooling, he does have a job right now..its a small business actually that he never EARNED! (it was only given by my parents, so it still not his!)....He never gave any money to help my family...he just wants to make money for himself....When i was younger...with no apparent and good reason..he laid his hands on me (beat me) :'(....i dont know wats wrong with him...sometimes i think that he as a psychological problem..specifically Anti-Social personality....If u might ask if i am the only one who is angry at him...well no!...my other brother is also angry at him....and also...for the record...he doesnt have any friends...not a single one! so that i think answers ur question!

He is already old (mid 30's) and i think he doesnt have any plans of getting out of our house....I already told this to my parents but they dont do anything about it, maybe because they still believe that they have to care and still put much attention to him...pathetic as it may seem

My opinion is...he is too "sheltered" he needs to grow and mature..he needs to see the "true" world there is...and not always hiding from my moms skirt! and i think the way for it is for him to get out of the house...live by himself!...put food on the table by means of spending his OWN money! wash his OWN clothes, cook for HIMSELF!!! Geeessshh! his older than i am! he needs to stand up for himself! Live his life on his own!! for heavens sake!

please! any advices?!

(another thing! i would never leave our house/siblings/PARENTS because of him! so dont advice me to just leave our house! i wont do something that i think he wants me to do!)

Grrrrr! he really pisses me off!

Answer 1

You said that you would NEVER leave your parents house.  I guess that was his plan too.

Too bad, because only losers live at home past their early 20s.  Your parents made a big mistake not kicking him out years ago.  But equally shame on him for not growing up by now.  While mid 30s is not 'old' as you suggest, it is certainly far too old to be living with mommy and daddy.

Answer 2

Success and happiness is the best revenge.  Work on improving your own life through education, job, relationships.   Be independent.  Be happy.  Enjoy yourself.  It will eat his heart out.  ;)

Answer 3

tell him

Answer 4

live and let live.stop being such a fascist and get on with your own life.

do u really neeed to be so petty and involved.get a life

Answer 5

Hes not the problem you are. You have all these views of how he should be. My nephew approached me one time and was talking about his dad that way. He had loaned his dead beat dad sixty bucks and he spent it and never paid it back. He was complaining how his dad treated him and so on and so forth. My nephew was 20 years old living on his own. So why was it annoying him? He wanted his dad to be something he wasn't. You want your brother to be something he isn't. The problem is your expectations and the scope of your ideas of conformity. I'll give you the same advice I gave my nephew (and it helped him).

You can't get mad at a bear for crapping in the woods, it just their nature.

You are just going to have to accept his behavior and modify your lifestyle to sidestep his. I have ten brothers and sisters and for the better part of my 35 years of being related to them, I have hated them. It took me a long time to realize that I remember how things were before my parents died and I wanted that back. I couldn't have it back and my family grew apart. They grew up and changed. I was angry at them for not conforming to my own ideals. I was angry at my self. You brother probably has done some god awful things, but there is one thing you can do, forgive him and start a new chapter of your life.

You can get any one to do what you want them too, if you can figure out a way to make them think it was their own idea. This is the con man's creed. It is what I teach my own daughter. If you are too lazy to  circumvent your problems, then you deserve the frustration.

Step 1: Identify your problem or problems.

Step 2: Design a solution.

Step 3: Implement that solution.

Step 4: Wait for it to solve the problem.

Step 5: If it doesn't solve your problem don't get angry. Repeat steps 1 through 3.

Happy grifting.

Answer 6

talk to ur parents  

Answer 7

this is between your parents and him.

this is really a common complaint with siblings when one is a mooch and a bum and the rest are highly competent.  The parents have some kind of guilt about the mooch and they over shelter and enable the mooch's behavior by doing everything for the mooch and not allowing them to suffer for their poor choices.  They think they are being good parents by protecting their child but they are really being bad parents because they have not taught their child how to fend for themselves.

on a plus side:  you now know that if you are as incompetent or as sluggish as your brother that your parents will take care of you for the rest of your life or until they go broke, too.  (that's sarcasm)

the best thing you can do to help your parents is to tell them they aren't doing your brother any favors by treating him like a helpless child and then you can make sure you are self supporting and don't rely on them to help you out as they have been your brother.

but just understand that your brother is a bum and this arrangement is between your parents and him and as long as they insist on enabling him he will be a bum.

edit to add:

I assumed from your tone that you were a minor child and he was a much older brother.  But if I was incorrect and you are an adult then you are no better than your brother mooching off of your parents when you should be self supporting and not further burdening them financially with your dead weight.

Answer 8

if yo want to get rid of him for good get a girl who has the same style as him and then he will leave you and your family

Answer 9

If he's in his mid 30's, I'm assuming that YOU are at least in your 20's.  Sounds like BOTH of you need to move out!

Answer 10

hello GC..first, i want to tell u dat i do feel for u.being in a situation like such is rili hard...actuali hard is an understatement.giving a solution as far as i know is very impossible for everything in cases like dis wil actuali depend on how ur brother thinks...his mentality as i may say. but at least through this msg i cud show u dat der r pipol who are concerned.hope to even ease ur burden at least.unfortunately, i think it'l be impossible to get rid of ur very irresponsible brother.i took pity over ur parents coz they can't do anything to teach ur brother a lesson.dey'r forced to just follow ur brother's whims for parents in nature are really like dat.

another....i ges it wil be hard for u to relay to ur brother wat u rili want to happen for as far as ur description of him suggests, it only shows dat his a type of person hu doesn't give care to what his family thinks of him. his too overwhelmed.very narrow minded.i ges what ever it is dat u insist for him to learn will just be junked..such impertinence is beyond control.hard to manipulate or at least influenced.oh my, i think m so carried by d situation and d longer i write, d more i get pissed of ur apathetic and nonchalant brother..(sori...)

well, so long, til here...hope to have at least eased ur burden bro!  

Answer 11

blow him up.

Answer 12

the only legal ways are to buy the house and just get him to leave because he will be trespassing or persuade your parents to accuse him of trespassing.  

Answer 13

I dunno but thanx for the two points lol

Answer 14

WOW it isn't your problem that he is still living in your parents home. If they want him gone they will take care of it since it is their home not yours! Maybe you could trade him in for my brother who is in the ground! I would give anything to bring my brother back! Quit your whining and grow up! Maybe worry about yourself for awhile!

Answer 15

You can't make him leave or grow up -- your parents would have to do that and it doesn't sound like they plan to.  I would just keep your distance and when you are old enough, show him the right way to live your life, get a job, support yourself.  Eventually, it will be time for you to make your own was as well and move out.  When you do, you can still be close to your parents (live nearby) and have them over for dinner, etc. - without him.  

Answer 16

Well it is your parents house and their son. You can't get rid of him. They choose to enable him and their is nothing you can do to change it. Since you don't want to move out and make him leave then for now all you can do is try to avoid him as much as possible.

Answer 17

You need to tell your parents because obviously they have the upper hand here. As you said he is too sheltered...this is mainly due to your parents....If your parents are the ones who put a roof on his head, they should be able to take it off...esp now that he's in his mid 30s!! But honestly, especially in the modern day, studies have shown more and more men in their 30s are staying in their parents house. Why? Less responsibilities, and rent is lower to none. But sounds like he is wayyy out there. I don't know why but I get the feeling he is insecure abt being independent...or maybe he is even expected by your parents to run the business when he doesn't want to, thus, being unmotivated to make the business work. There could be lots of reasons. But if he hits you, that is not excusable. He needs pscyhological help, or an arrest warrant. What I could suggest is also maybe get family therapist, so that all of you can share your feelings and perhaps shed some light on how to patch up. Sorry to say, but you can't simply kick a family member out of your life. I have done something like that, and it backfired....now I "got what I wished for", and I miss my sister, no matter who was "wrong"........before any regrets, really consider some other options....good luck mate...

Answer 18

show him how it's done.

get a good education, a good job, move out and be successful.

do it so well he asks you how you did it.  then help him.