How to get the mother of a child that may be mine to let me have something to do with her?

Question

i was told during the pregnacy that the child was mine then she said it was some one elses i was not allowed to see her. ITs been three years and the little girls grandfather has contacted me telling me that she is my daughter. Her mother still insists that she isnt mine but I have seen her once and she does look like me. The mother and child live in another state than i do and i dont know how that would affect my case. I need to know what my rights are and what i can do about it if she is mine.

Answer 1

Go to the Friend of the Court office and ask them about getting a DNA test to prove your parentage. Be aware they will set up child support if it proves she is your child.

If she is your child you can insist on visitation rights and the usual parental rights.

Answer 2

Speak to a lawyer.  Good luck!

Answer 3

I would consult with an attorney...you can request a paternity test they aren't too expensive. I would call attorney in your state and hers.

Answer 4

You need a lawyer. Get a consultation and you will be referred to a lawyer that practices in the state where your 'apparent' little girl resides.

Answer 5

go to court demand a paternity test which will prove if indeed you are the dad or not and if you are you have a right to some parental visitation rights

Answer 6

your best bet is to get a DNA test

Answer 7

Like everyone else said- you need to get a lawyer first so you can petetion the court for a paternity test to prove she's yours. If she is then you can go to court for visitation. Keep in mind that the kid is 3 so this is going to be tough on her- she'll be scared if she's sent off with a stranger alone. Maybe you can set up your first visits at the grandparents house until you get to know her better and then have visits at your home later on down the road. She doesn't know you so you don't want to traumatize her, even if the court says you've legally got the right to take her alone, you know?  Just keep her best interests at heart at all times. Be prepared for the mother to request child support from you and expect this to get very expensive. Good luck.

Answer 8

First of all, you need to get the childs grandfather to put something in writing. Also, is he a person who can be believed? Next, I would contact the county that the child is in and tell them you want a paternity test, that the grandfather told you the child was yours. If you can afford it, contact an attorney in your area. Most will give you a free consultation that may help. If you can prove that the child is yours, you do have rights. If you are a fit parent you should be able to get visitation rights.

The most important thing is why you want to see her. If you really want a good, healthy relationship with her, than that is great. Don't do it for your own personal, selfish reasons, or to get at her, but because you truly want to play a part in her life.

If you get it, don't let them down. Stick with visiting when you should, DO show up, DON'T be late, and also do not show up when you are not suppose to. Also, the number one mistake parents make when in this position is that they try to win the childs affection by downing the other parent. This WILL backfire on you and hurt the child terribly. Children want parents that act like parents and not selfish arguing idiots. I cannot stress this enough. You will hurt your child with this kind of back stabbing behavior. Even if she does it, you should not. Try to talk to her calmly. Ask her to lunch and tell her you are going to have a court ordered paternity test to prove she is your child. Tell her you do not want to interfere or put her down in any way and that regardless of what does on between you and her, you want what is best for your daughter. Tell her you would like to work things out in a quiet, responsible way.

Lastly, be prepared to pay child support and do it freely not like many dads in your situation have done. The money is for the welfare of your child and let the mom chose how to dispurse it. YOu may not always agree with where it goes but hold back your opinions. Child support is not a punishment against the paying parent but should be a joy to know that they are contributing to the welfare of their child.

If this all sounds like a lot to you that is because it is a big move. Being a parent is a lifelong responsibilty, even after they are so called grown. Love them, respect them, provide guidelines for rules to protect them, and you will have a happy, healthy, and kind child.

One more thing. NEVER contradict the mom. If you do not agree with something, wait until the two of you can be alone, and I mean alone, not anywhere in child ear shot, and then quietly discuss ways to compromise!

Well that's it for now. God bless, and good luck to you!

Answer 9

You need to find an attorney and take her to court so a paternity test can be done. If you are the father, then you need to file for joint or partial custody. She can't deny you of seeing your child unless she has a way to prove to the court that you are an unfit father.

Answer 10

You need to find an attorney and go from there. Nothing will get accomplished if you take matters into your own hands.