How to give the signal that you're annoyed with people around in a nice way?

Question

Okay girls, another piece of advice I need from you! I have these two women at work who are almost like the "dirty kids" in school that no one wants to play with haha.

For some reason, I must have a sign on my forehead that says "Hey, come hang out with me, I'm the new girl, 'm nice, I'll get along with you!!" I'm all for that, but it's one thing to occasionally come around me and talk and another to be attached to my hip and HAVE TO sit RIGHT NEXT TO me at tables at lunch rather than across the table when there are three other empty seats, ya know? hahaha. And then to look over at what I'm reading when they can grab the same thing from a pile that's on the kitchen counter and read it themselves.

I know I sound horrible, but OMG I don't know how to give them the hint to give me some space! I barely say two words to them and they still insist I'm they're new buddy or something, or maybe they just think I'm quiet and it's not on purpose. These women are probably my mom's age and try to talk and act like they're the same age as me and even ask me to go clubbing with them and their single friends in hopes of finding men.. I have one, thanks!

LOL Thanks for listening!

Answer 1

Is there a way where you can not eat lunch with them?  My advice is to not p**s them off because you have to work with these people.  I think everyone has worked with people they do not like.  I sure have, some real bit ches.  Sometimes I had to suck it up and talk to them.  You don't have to hang out with them and don't seek them out to talk with.  If you're new, you'll find a clique to hook up with at work soon.  It took me a couple of weeks.  

Answer 2

just be short with them, like you dont talk too much. They might think your a dull or boring person but they bug you anyway so who cares.

Answer 3

Be nice, but don't engage in their

conversations.  Don't socialize

with them.

Sooner or later, they'll get the hint.

Answer 4

Hey they say we all need at least 3 ft. of personal space to feel comfortable and some people just won't respect that.  Me, I'm freaky and need more so I don't' mind telling folks to back up please.  Here are some things I do to insure that space.

I tell them:

1)  No impromptu visits for me please, no call no answer

2)  When my shadow gets stepped on and it makes me irritable.  If there is no shadow leave room, it will be back.

3)  I'm a person who likes people but I'm most comfortable with solitude most of the time

4)  As much as I like people, sometimes I just need time to talk to myself.

5)  If you feel a f**t coming on, don't hold back, let it rip.  It sounds gross but then you can say "Oops,I didn't have enough space or time to get away from you"

As far as you clubbing with them, tell them it would seem like partying with your Mom and you are just not comfortable with that at all.

If all else fails, because some just won't get the message, use lunch time to improve your health and walk...and walk fast.

Be Blessed

Answer 5

Headphones are great--they show you're not interested in talking.  If someone says something about it just say, "I think the right music sort of re-energizes you for the afternoon" or whatever.  Then you can say "but I'm sure you guys want to talk so I'll go over there"--then take your reading material and your lunch, and your sanity, and go to an empty table.   Or "This is the only time I get to read, I'm so busy when I get home, so you'll have to excuse me".  I have had to sit on my  reading material at my salon--same problem--don't want to share what I brought to read, don't want to discuss it, just want to read it--and keep it under one haunch 'til I'm ready to read.  

There are "quiet buses" here in CA--the commuter buses have a rule about being quiet so people can work, sleep, or whatever.  Could you suggest that there be a designated "quiet table" so the employees can do the same thing?  Some days you just want to eat your sammie and read, and I think having a designated quiet table means you can do that without hurting anyone's feelings.  It sounds like there's plenty of room.  If you can talk to your Human Resource director or something you can explain that there are people who are nice enough but are BOUNDARY CHALLENGED, and you don't want to have to go eat in your car!

These women are sort of sad, and it's easy to see they're trying too hard--they just don't know how to behave appropriately and have become intrusive.  You are very sweet not to jump down their throats.  

Good luck!!