How to handle a family problem that is ready to explode? ?

Question

Long story short, my in-laws have told my husband they both need to talk to him. Not on the phone, but in person. Without me. We both think we know what the problem is (nothing to do with me personally) but I am very stressed out right now, and am convinced this is a ticking bomb waiting to explode. My in-laws have been weird for the past few months, but I have bitten my tongue and said nothing because I'm the daughter-in-law and don't want to create problems with my husband. Soooooo... now, this new situation has come up, and they don't even want me in the room to talk about it.

How should I react? Confronting them is going to make everything worse, but how should I feel when they need to talk to him without me present?

Answer 1

Don't let it stress you out. It might not even be about you. It's probably family business. One of his parents might be sick and only want to keep it in the family. If he feels confident enuff to tell you he would. If you have the will power confront them and ask them whats going on b'c your his wife and you feel left out. Are you cool with the both of his parents? If so, don't worry the situation probably out of your hands anyway.  

Answer 2

let them talk without you and ask your husband what it is about... you two should be a team and since you can't hear what was said you should get the info from your husband... if its such an issue you should be there to defend yourself but since they want just your husband he better defend u

Answer 3

It may not be about you personally. (Could be they are drawing up a will, medical problems etc.) Tell your husband you are nervous about it. let him go and take care of it. Tell him you want to know what was said about you and/or your relationship, and anything that might affect the two of you. I would also ask him that if the conversation turns out to be about you, that he insist that you be there.

Answer 4

If you and your husband believe that the problem is about you, then I think he should tell them that he won't discuss it without you.  He should show them that he is on your side no matter what, and that he's not willing to discuss you behind your back.  Doing so would just put even more stress on the relationship.

If you do not believe that the problem is about you, then I would say to let him go.  It could be that they want to discuss something personal (maybe last will wishes, medical problems, or something like that) that they would just be more comfortable discussing with him alone.  I know that my parents love my husband, but that doesn't mean they are comfortable sharing personal details with him yet.

I guess, if I were you, I would let him go and find out what exactly is going on.  If you trust your husband, you will know that he will act appropriately and defend you if he needs to.

I can see how this would be difficult, but try to not let it bother you too much until you find out what it's all about.  Could be you're stressing for no reason.

I hope this helps!  Good luck!  :)

Answer 5

Why don't you and a friend go out for a nice relaxing spa day or day out while they tell your husband then you can be all calm when he tells you. It may not be anything about you but family business. You are part of the family so ask your husband what it is about. If you feel really worried then get them to have the conversation when you are in the next room and then you can be called in if necessary. Just don't get too stressed out. It won't help I'm sure.