How to handle family members with new baby!!?

Question

Everyone in my family keeps trying to get me to let my daughter (8wks old) sleep with them or them take her for the night!! I absolutely will not have it...I lost my mom over 2 and a half yrs ago and my hubby is in Korea and so my baby girl is all I have right now!! It will be along time before I feel comfortable letting her sleep with someone else or stay the night away from me!! Am I being a greedy mom? I have heard this word "greedy mom" in comments that are meant to sound sarcastic from my family members!! I dont get it...she is my baby is it that hard for people to understand!! Has anyone else had an experience like this and if so how did you handle it!!

Answer 1

i'm only 15, so i don't know too much about this. but my mom said that she let me and my sister spend the night with my grandma when we were only a week old.

but i understand what you are saying. she is your baby. just explain to your family what you explained to us. but make sure that if your family does take your baby for the night, that they have a crib. hope i was some help!

Answer 2

I breastfed exclusively and so there was no way anyone was going to look after my son but me.  You're not selfish.  Tell them to back off and have their own babies.  

Answer 3

Hey you have every right to be a greedy mom!  She is yours and you do not have to let anyone take her, family or not!

Stand your ground mama!

Answer 4

There is no need for someone to take your child at 8 weeks for anything except a walk around the nursery.  And, if they feel that you are greedy, perhaps they should stay away.  

Its your child, ergo, your rules.

Answer 5

I know, it's quite a burden. Me and my man experienced that too. His mom tried to take our Camille within the 1st month of birth. It was like "NO WAY LADY!" I just went through all that trauma and you just get to cuddle and kiss her and show her off like a prize dog to all your friends. I wasn't havin' it.

You need to just tell them, if they want to visit her that's fine. But taking her out, is out of the question.

And if they call you greedy mom, just call them even greedier family. She is YOUR BABY after all, you are never required to "loan" her out for the night.

Guaranteed all they want to do is prance around town showing her off and stuff "look at my new granddaughter/ neice/ whatever-she-is-to-me, isn't she sooooo cute? Doesn't she have our family's eyes/nose?" It is very selfish on their part to call you greedy, when their motives are completely self serving!

EDIT: And his crazy *** aunt offered to babysit but she lives on the opposite side of town. And when we nicely said, thanks, but it's not that convenient. She offered to PAY US to baby sit OUR CHILD. Isn't that a bit over the deep end?

Answer 6

who cares what they think.  be a greedy mom.  if you want your baby with you every night that's your business and they should have nothing to say about it.  i wouldn't let my child stay away at 8 weeks either.  i'd just miss her too much.  maybe at 12 weeks i would thnk about it.

Answer 7

Sounds like a nice loving family.

It's normal for all the family members to want to be with the new baby.

It's normal for you to want to hold on to her all the time.

It;s also normal for you to wear yourself to a frazzle taking care of

that little tyrant. (I've been there. There were two of us.

And I can still say that).

If they're experienced parents they know this.

Are you sure you're not looking a bit ragged around the edges?

Maybe they're not being selfish, but are trying to give you a break?

Answer 8

that's ridiculous to think you would let your 8 wk old baby stay somewhere other than with you! you are not being greedy at all. you are her mother and know what's best for her. my son is 9 mos old and he has yet to stay anywhere but in the next room.  

Answer 9

I don't blame you at all.  She's too young to be away from her mother overnight, and who the heck would want to take an 8 week old overnight anyway?  Do they know what a night with a baby that young is like?  Not fun!  

I haven't had an experience like this, because my son is 10 weeks old and no one has even offered to babysit him, let alone take him overnight.

Answer 10

I wouldn't do it any other way if I were you even without being alone. Your bub is the most precious thing in the world and why anyone would even think of asking to take her from you for the night at such a young age is ridiculous I think. I say let them call you greedy all they want, she's just a baby she belongs with her mum. Stick to your guns!! As for sleeping with them do they mean in their bed? Because that is very very dangerous just guide them to the SIDs website if they won't listen to you.  

Answer 11

They should understand the simple facts. You're not a greedy mom, you're a mom. Don't let any one persuade you. I'm the same way. My son is 10mths old and has never slept the night anywhere. I am a SAHM and never leave him but on the weekends when I photograph weddings and he only stays with three people (who ever is available) You're more of an over protective mother and there is nothing wrong with that. Not all mothers are the same. If coming over to visit isn't enough for them, they should have their own child! lol sorry.. that was rude, but you understand what I mean.  

Answer 12

No, I haven't experienced this other than in jokes of people saying she was coming home with them.  Either way, just smile and say no, she's too young for a sleep over.  And move on to something else.  You're certainly not greedy.  Make sure everyone get some time holding the baby.  Offer to let them change diapers while they're visiting or feed a bottle if you're not nursing.  Let them come over and play for an couple of hours while you get a nap.  But keep strong.  You're doing the right thing.  Babies that young don't need sleepovers without mom.  

Nursing has been my best defense about anyone wanting to take my daughter too far.  She's 10 months old now.  Good luck with the family.  And best wishes for your new daughter!  Congrats!

Answer 13

honestly, they're not trying to be like that...they are probably just trying to help you out.  they may think that since you already have so much stress (with hubby gone), that you need some time off; and every mom needs some time to herself, but what they might not understand is that you need time with your baby right now.  i know she's your whole world right now (she reminds you of your husband, she needs you, she's what keeps you going) and they think they are trying to help, but that might not be what you need right now.  you know what's best for your baby and you...tell them that you need this time to bond with your baby and that it makes you feel closer to your husband when you hold her and that just looking at her reminds you of him and the reason he can't be there with you.  let them know that you are thankful for their help and you will let them know when you need it.  other than that, don't let the sarcastic remarks bother you.  they are just doing what they feel is right, helping you.  make sure that they know that they will get to spend time with your baby girl, just when you feel ready.  it's hard to leave your baby with someone else.  the first time i left my twin girls with their nana i felt horrible.  kind of like i was abandoning them, but when i picked them up, they were happy as could be and i realized that they will be ok.  your family is just trying to help you, tell them you'll take them up on their offer when your hubby comes home (so you can have some alone time with him) but that right now you need your baby as much as she needs you.  best of luck to you!