How to handle messy roommate?

Question

I left a note on the fridge yesterday about the stove and the countertops being dirty after I had just cleaned it two days prior. I'm assumming my roommate has seen the note, however, she still has not made any effort to clean her mess. What should I make of this?

Answer 1

Before becoming roommates you two should have discussed such things and clarified self responsibility.  If she's left a mess for two days and you're still using the stove and counter tops without cleaning it then you are adding to the mess that's still there.  Instead of leaving her a note, as adults, this matter should be addressed face to face.  This and other problems could lead to greater issues and the idea of sharing expenses won't work out and chances are one of you will leave.  Your roommate is presenting the problem so it might be you who leaves because you're the one who's upset.  May I suggest, if you want to stay where you are and you use the kitchen and want it kept clean and to keep the peace, then clean it after you use it.  Choose your battles.  If there is a mess left after your roommate has used it it will get cleaned when you clean up after yourself.  Maybe that's her rationale too.   You have two options.  Make an issue of it and talk to her OR, let the mess stay until you clean it up when you clean up after yourself.  But to let it just sit there getting worse isn't practical or healthy and you just get mad about it.  

Answer 2

In order to have roommate tranquility, you have to skip the notes which are always perceived as lecturing and mothering.  Instead have a conversation.  Call a roommate meeting.

You both want to be happy living together.  What compromises can you BOTH make in order to both be happy?  For me, the two areas that really matter are kitchen and bathroom.  If they are clean, I can deal with a lot.  How often does she want to clean the kitchen?  How often do you want to?  Where is a middle ground you can both live with?

Create a schedule.  You can have a calender of when is Your w/e and when is Her w/e to clean.  Then when you do it, you can just initial the calendar over your name.  

Take turns so that your week to clean the bathroom is her week to clean the kitchen so that your weekend doesn't feel like you are cleaning everything.

If there is a set calender, they don't feel like they are cleaning up after you and you don't feel like you are always the one doing the cleaning.  Both parties know the other cleaned and that it is 50-50 in the house.

Now there are roommates that just aren't bearable.  I had a roommate that would just pile up every trash bag in the kitchen, b/c I was gone for the month.  I came home to 8 trash bags blocking the door.  The same roommate would claim she'd cleaned the bathroom yesterday but it was disgusting.  There was NO WAY that had been cleaned.  In those cases, you may just have to move out.  Some people are just filthy.  But in general, discussing ways that BOTH of you can be happier (she may not notice dust and you should be in charge of dusting the tv and entertainment center) will make a more tranquil living environment.

Answer 3

You could casually bring up the note the next time you run into your roommate and ask what he/she thought.  Then try reiterating your request to be neat, citing why it's important (e. g. keeping the deposit to your place, it's a health hazard, etc.).

Answer 4

Find a new roommate.  I hate messy people.  Tell her to clean up her act or hit the road.  In College, I made a pie chart of the three common rooms.  Each of us had one area that had to be cleaned by Sunday night.  Then, I would allow them to watch my TV.

Answer 5

dont clean it yourself, if she wont be bothred, why should u do her work? the next time you meet sit down and talk, make a rota or something so you take turns on doing things like cleaning.