How to handle unprofessional instructor at dojo??

Question

I like my dojo for the most part. A new instructor was hired - a fairly immature kid to my eyes (I'm 36), and recently he grabbed me and shook me. This was all done in what I'm sure he thought was a playful way, but it really didn't make me happy. He seems to have a bit of an attitude towards women (something I have encountered with none of the other male instructors).

I'm not sure how to handle this, b/c I thought it was very inappropriate but he wasn't being violent. Still, it was upsetting. Any thoughts.

Answer 1

I like the idea of addressing things straight up and getting the air clear.  If you don't it will fester in your mind and cause you to be distracted in class.

I recommend sitting down with the new instructor and inviting the head instructor to the meeting to mediate.  Tell the new guy you have a couple of concerns that you want to air out and explain just like you did above - address this to the new guy, not the head instructor.  I think the guy will explain himself, and even if he's a little awkward about it, it will be better for the overall atmosphere of the class.  Facing it early is better than waiting.  Call the school and set something up at a time when your fellow students are not around - the instructors will need time to discuss this without you.

My head instructor also has a personal email - if you don't feel comfortable with a face-to-face, maybe you can send a thoughtful email - make sure it's something you don't mind the new guy reading, because the head instructor should let him read about your concerns at some point.

Answer 2

Talk to the head instructor.  I'm almost positive the new person will be straightened out accordingly.

Answer 3

In what context did he grab you?

Just horseplay, or simulating an attack in self defense instruction or what?

What was upsetting about it?  

James

Answer 4

I would suggest you inform the head instructor and maybe talk with the instructor you have issues with. I wouldn't just stand in the wings and let this behavior continue as it is doing a disservice to everybody involved.

Good Luck, it might be a touchy job.

Answer 5

Address the Chief Instructor and tell him that his physical contact with you was inappropriate. Not that you believe or feel it was... but that IT WAS, and you want the incident addressed.

Remember, you pay for your classes, they are not free. You employ them to teach you. They have rules - you should too.  

Answer 6

Tell him exactly what you told us (preferably in the presence of his boss.) Teaching ANYTHING requires social skills. If he doesn't have them or acts inappropriately, the dojo is going to lose students.

If he does it again, change schools and (if it is appropriate) let them know that you are thinking about filing charges.

Answer 7

Just be straight forward about it with him. Tell him that you understand he wasn't meaning his actions in a hurtful or spiteful way, but that you don't like that kind of horse play and rough housing. It's not that big a deal, or at least it shouldn't be. If it were me I would try to get to class early and either address it then and there or ask him if I could have a moment of his time after class and speak to him about it then. I wouldn't make a big scene out of it because then you are putting everyone else in the class in the spot of taking sides in something that they are not involved in. If he gives you trouble over it, then go to the head instructor (assuming that the new guy is an assistant) and let him know about it. If he is the new head instructor and not just an assistant I would still handle it the same way, just go directly to him before or after class and talk to him 1 on 1 and let him know how you feel about the situation. I'm sure you are right in that he was just playing, but some people like very physical play and other do not and that is just a fact of life.

As for his attitude towards women I like that idea considerably less than I do the rough play. (I've been known to play kinda rough myself) An attitude like that has no place in a training hall, and I would approach it the same way. Keep the 2 subjects separated though, 1 has nothing to do with the other. I have had people tell me I played a little too rough for their tastes from time to time and have always apologized and told them that was not my intent I just like to play rough. What I have never been accused of though is having a bad attitude toward women. (Or any other group for that matter)

If he is the head instructor and is just a nes one to your school and you don't like the idea of facing him alone to talk to him about these 2 subjects than I would suggest getting 1 or 2 of the assistant instructors or a couple of high level students who are at least aware of the problem or potantial problem to go with me to speak to him.