How to handle your mother in law. . . . ??

Question

I'm expecting our third child. My mother in law wants us to name our future daughter after her mother. Theressa Marie!!!!!! We already have a name picked out for her. We really don't want to upset her, but she holds grudges for ever and is constantly, telling me how much she dislikes our two other babies names. Has any one had a problem like this before? can you please give some advice on how to handle this. . . thanks and our other two are called Jayden and Adelein so it does go with them, right???

Answer 1

You don't have to handle her one bit, it's the way she

is and won't change.  Call you children whatever you

want, and don't let her control you.  

Answer 2

Name YOUR baby whatever YOU wish!  If your mother-in-law gets nasty about it...tell her SHE named HER children, now she should back off and let you do the same.

Answer 3

Be creative ask her how she named her children, find out if her mother-in-law was meddlesome as well....sometimes if you take them on a walk down memory lane of what happen to them, they just might back off without you having to make a stand for yourself! Since really the 2 of you are the best ones to make this choice!!!! Aren't You??!!!

Answer 4

do what u want

and what ur man want

ur mother is out from ur personal life

Answer 5

it's your kid not hers.. i think the other names are great!!!  

Answer 6

don't let her choose, you will regret it forever, especially when you are older. i let my ex in laws pick the middle name for my son and so regret it.

tell her politely, "No, these are our children." she had her chances with her own.

Answer 7

It is really not up to your mother in law, if she is going to hold a grudge like this then she is up for being disappointed a lot in this life, we can't all get what we want, just tell her you considered her name very seriously but decided that you both thought this name would fit in more with the other two children. If she is upset than explain to her gently that this is your lives, and she should live her own

Answer 8

well, personally I think Theresa is a beautiful name - but if you don't, I would just ignore her suggestion and name the baby whatever you like.  It's not her baby and if she wanted to call someone that name, she should have had more children or bought a pet!  MIL's shouldn't intimidate you, they should support you - isn't that what parents are for?  If she's not doing it and being selfish, you don't need to suffer the consequences of that - mainly because you're a grown adult, and she's supposed to be - don't give in!

Answer 9

Forget her immature grudges she has to take that up w/ God she doesnt sound like a forgiving type of person and that is digging her grave deep each day. name your kids whatever you and your husband decide, youre the one carrying your child NOT her. Dont be scared of her step up your game woman and quit letting her intimidate you, she probably do this to you all the time and go home and twidle her fingers in evil laughter "ha ha got her right where i want her" , silly?? but true!! Live YOUR life to the fullest you have your own dreams and hopes and when naming children you want it to be special, if you doubt the name that she picked out then dont use it, just let her know that you decided to go w/ somthing else that you feel in heart that will fit YOUR child. and who would really argue what a mother wants to name their child would be considered EVIL and selfish in my book !!  Good luck, im sure once you see your little bundle of Joy pop out you will just look at her face and whatever name you give her will fit like a glove!! Congrats on the new addition to your family....

Answer 10

Tell her you have already chosen the name. You could compromise and use one of the names as a middle name to keep the peace. Its your decision though, its your child not hers.  

Answer 11

i'm a firm believer that whatever comes out of your body...you get to name it.  i have a pesky MIL too.  

if it were me i would not, cause you already have a name picked out.  if she gets mad...she will get over it.  once she sees that baby...her heart will melt.

Answer 12

Use the name that you and your husband have picked out- she got to name her children and now it's your turn. If she wants to hold a grudge, then it will be her own fault whenever she misses out on the lives of her grandchildren... don't let your mother in law call the shots or make the rules, b/c it only causes more problems in a relationship. Tell her, as nicely as possible, how you feel; tell her that you think that the name is pretty and that you will consider it (if it is something that you and your husband may want to do). On the other hand, if it isn't something that y'all even want to consider, then tell her that you have already chosen a name but you appreciate the suggestion.

I had major problems w/ my mother in law and didn't want to hurt her feelings so I didn't tell her the things that bothered me and it only made things worse... now after 2 years, I can finally go to their house w/out being sick. It causes major problems when you don't talk about the problems- I know you don't want to hurt her feelings so maybe your husband could be the one to do the talking. Good Luck to you and congrats on baby #3!!!

Answer 13

just  tell    here

Answer 14

because you dont want to upset her use the THERESSA MARIE as her middle name.

atleast its there in her name right?

it doesnt have to be her first name.

Answer 15

Yes my mom and dad had a hard time, my grandmother on my moms side wanted to name me after HER mother,...but my mom wans fond of Heidi. IN the ened, My mom and dad picked my first name and used my grandmothers mom's middle name for my middle name. Lindsey Anne. Its a compromise. But in the end, it's YOUR baby, not hers.  

Answer 16

Ive been in exactly the same position its very difficult to know what to do for the best. but remember you cant please all of the people all of the time. I can understand why your Mother In Law wants you to use her |mothers name so could you not choose the name you want and have her mothers name as a middle name or even a second middle name there's no law to say how many names you give your child be firm with her good luck, and I hope all goes well with the birth.  

Answer 17

You AND your husband need to sit down and tell her that this is your child and you already have a name picked out. She's a grown woman and she should start behaving as such. Suggest to her that if she doesn't respect you, your parenting and your children, then she will be seeing less of all of you.

Bottom line is - stand your ground. She may pout for a while and try to stir up trouble, but they're your kids. You have a right to name them as you please, and if she doesn't respect your decision, that's on her.