How to help a boyfriend when his uncle died when they had an accident?

Question

My boyfriend had a motor cycle accident last week. He was the one driving and his uncle was his passenger. Both of them were able to drink an average amount of alcohol. They were going home from a reunion of their clan when they met an accident somewhere down the road. He was brought to the hospital along with his uncle but unfortunately his uncle did not survive. My bf's family slowly told him bout what happened his uncle. When he knew about it, he felt sorry to his uncle's family about what had happened. He blamed himself about the death even though his parents are telling him that it was just an accident and no one has to be blame. His uncle's family on the other hand did not blame him for what happened.

I would like to help him but I don't know where and how to start. I think one of the best way in which I can help is to listen and just be there for him. Please tell me other ways and also some activities to do so that I can help him.

Answer 1

no, activities for awhile, I'm afraid. He's going to need a lot of time for this, and he's going to need your shoulder to cry on. After he seems to be a little less depressed, then start offering activities

Answer 2

I have the tendency to fall back on my religion and my beliefs in times like this.... Wow, I am so sorry for this loss.  He will need you for support.  Sometimes just having you there by his side not pointing blame or trying to fix this will help... just be there.  When he is ready you can tell him that God puts us through tests to test our faith, but he only puts us through the tests that he knows we can handle.  Everything happens for a reason, but we may not ever know what that reason is.  It was his Uncle's time to go, so he was on the back of that bike that day.  Even the way it happened has a purpose.  It may be the only way the family was able to let go, I don't know, but I know he put your b/f in the driver seat to survive.  Good Luck with this... this may always leave a big hole in his heart...  

Answer 3

Let him talk openly about how is feeling, expressing his hurt and guilt allows him to express it rather than carry it inside. Ask him if his uncle  would want him to destroy his life with guilt because of what has happened? Ask him what he would say to his Uncle if he could ?

Some people find it helpful to have a special place where they feel the deceased person is with them and talk to them. This allows them to express their feelings and helps them to know that person will  remain important to them.