How to help a grieving three year old?

Question

Today I found my daughters ferret dead in his cage there was no indecation he was even sick so it was very unexpected. my daughter woke up and I tried to explain to her that her ferret had died I told her that he had died and that he was in heaven since then she has had moments when she was very sad and then she seems ok and is laughing and playing then she's sad again. I am trying my best to make her happy but I don't know how to help her it's breaking my heart to see her this way, I have tried to hold her but she won't let me and I have tried just talking to her but there are times she won't even look at me. Does anyone have any Ideas on how or what I can do to help her through this? it has been suggested that I get her a new pet but I don't Know ?

Answer 1

children are very unique when they handle grief. What she is doing is totally normal. Sad one minute and happy the next. Allow her to go threw the motions and she will eventually get over it.

It might help to explain that how she feels is totally normal and acceptable and that it is 100% OK to cry and that if she does it can help her feel better and it allows her hurt feelings heal. There really isn't anything you could do to make her feel better the same way there really isn't anything you could do for an adult to feel better when they loose someone they love. They just have to work through the emotions. I would tell her that you are there for her and if she ever wants to talk about how the passing of the ferret makes her feel your there and will listen to her.

Remember childrens first exposure and experience with death is usually the death of a beloved pet and how you handle this today can have an impact on how she handles death when its a person in her older years. Be paitient and understanding and don't force her to hug you. Don't run out and replace the animal either, it sends a message that someone or something that she loves can easily be replaced which as adults, we know thats not true. Let her come to you when she's ready for another pet.