How to help autistic child understand stealing is wrong?

Question

My 4 year old daughter has been diagnosed with high functioning autism. We are managing ok. The latest problem is taking things from stores. She will just put things in her pockets and walk off with them. Basicaly now everytime before we leave the store I check her pockets to make sure nothing leaves the store without being paid for. She just generaly doesn't understand that it is wrong. With my other children all it took was having to apologize to the manager but not this time. PLEASE HELP ME!

Answer 1

The autism spectrum covers such a broad range of neurological disorders that I can't give you a set way to teach her.  Regardless of where your daughter falls under the autistic umbrella, she learns differently than 'normal'.  How does your daughter learn best?  What is her passion?  Often you can use her passion to help her learn a whole slew of other things.  One autistic child, for example, has a passion for animals.  That is what he loves and what he relates well too.  He learned his alphabet by associating an animal with each letter, so when you ask him to say his alphabet he goes through and says an animal that starts with each letter.  

With this child it might work to take his passion for animals and help him learn that stealing is wrong.  What happens if an alligator takes a duck's food?  What would happen to that duck?  Then try to relate that to taking things from a store.  You can take what it is that your daughter is passionate about and try to relate it.  It might be a stretch, but I bet you can do it.

Some autistic kids seem to just not be understanding something at all, then one day it just snaps and they understand it perfectly.  Be consistent in teaching her why it is wrong, but also in telling her why it is wrong.  Try to teach her, but also every time it happens tell her that taking something is wrong because of _____.  She will understand.

Also something that seems to be common with autistic kids, regardless of where they fall in the spectrum, is that they get confused when there are tons of extra words.  Telling them "You need to take out the garbage now."  might be ignored because it's too wordy.  All of the essentials that a child needs to hear are bundled inside a bunch of unnecessary words.  It's usually more effective to just say "Sarah, garbage now."  So finding the most direct and simple way to tell her that stealing is wrong may help.

As an off note, it isn't fair for someone to tell you that stealing is not an autistic behavior.  Kids with autism have difficulties understanding "normal" social interactions and social behaviors.  How to act in a store *is* a social behavior, so it's expected that she might struggle.

Answer 2

i think just giveing them one word as in no,and they will get use to it,trying differnt things will get them confused so just stick to one thing.

Answer 3

My son is 5 and has PDD NOS (high functioning autism) - he hasn't stolen anything, but if he ever did I can understand what you're going through, as its really hard to communicate these kind of "abstract" things with my son.  

My advice is be very very consistant, and keep the verbal part short and sweet.  I"m not sure if her speech is delayed or not... but just say firmly "no" and take whatever she took away from her, and put her in a timeout (or whatever punishment you feel would work - maybe talk to her therapists about this).

Keep a close eye on her when you are shopping so you can try to stop her in the act before she actually gets the object in her pocket - its more effective then.  

When she gets a little older and she is a little further developmentally, you'll be able to explain it to her better why stealing is wrong.

Good luck!!

Answer 4

Generally with Autistic children it takes some consistency and teaching time to teach them that it is not okay. Maybe do an at home example with her, show her how it feels to have one of her things taken away. I know that it can be difficult at times to deal with Autistic children, but they are pretty managable once you learn how to communicate with them.

Our hospital here offers classes and day camps for Autistic children so that their parents can learn how to communicate with them, as well as teaching idioms and other social skills to the children.

Answer 5

Stealing is not an autistic behavior. Something else is going on here. You need to teach her that she cannot steal. Obviously something else is happening at home. Again -- this is not autism. It is something else.

You have more than one child who steals???? WOW.

Teach them some morals or something. This is not the fault of autism or your autistic four year old. Obviously she cannot know any better given the example set by you and her siblings.

Answer 6

Perhaps you could try taking something of hers and then let her catch you with it? Maybe then you could explain to her that it wouldn't be fair to take other people's or shop's things as they would then feel as she did.