How to help my daughter

Question

I have a 10 year old daughter. She is about to start all the icky puberty stuff. I started my period when I was 12 so I know things are starting. I'm not sure about her pubic hair growth or breast buds or anything because I have given her privacy, but I would like to personally see any physical changes. How could a build a bond with my daughter so she will let me help her and see everything that is going on to talk to her about it?

Answer 1

If you really want to build a bond with your daughter, give her space and privacy.  

If she thinks you're trying push your way in, she'll back away fast.  Let her come to you.  There's nothing else you can do.

Answer 2

change your attitude cuz your daughter may not have the same experiences as you.  my 8 yr old daughter has already joined the club.  she wears bras with tshirts and other clingy clothing.  we've been discussing all of this and more for the past 7 years.

Answer 3

Its been about 13 years since I've been there personally but I just remember my mom asking me to grab my dirty clothes and meet her by the washing machine. We then stood there and talking about changes that are going to happen to my body and she told me that when the weekend came we would go to the store and buy some training bras. She then told me that any time I needed to talk to her about it the code word would be "Hey mom could we go have a coke together" (funny thing is that she talked to me about this over Christmas and thats the only time we were allowed to have soda..lol) But I really felt after that I could come and talk to her about that subject. I did not show my mom my goodies she just assumed that since I was around that age that I was in need of the talk and the bras...but if you would like to see then I guess sneaking a peek wouldn't hurt  

Answer 4

ur a great mom your doing things rite !Trust me! Ull do fine!  

Answer 5

you should just start her with a training bra. My Daughter uses it. When she is changing go into her room with her clean clothes and take a quick peak at her b***s and see if she is ready for a bra. Or you could talk to her set her down and say "(her name) do you think you are ready for a bra, (if she says yes start her with a training bra take her shopping and get 4 bras) Okay sweetie tommarow we will get some." I know i was happy when i got my first bra!!

Answer 6

you want to WHAT...?  thats gross..  

Answer 7

well jcpennys have good training bras and just tell her she can talk to you about anything  

Answer 8

I learned everything at summer camp. One of the girls in our cabin had a book that her mom gave her, which circulated extensively. Our counselor Judy was so down-to-earth and relaxed, and answered our questions as if it was the most normal thing in the world (which it is after all).

Walking in to peek at your daughter while she is changing sounds to me like a violation of privacy. Girls cover up for a few years in baggy shirts for a reason. Try to curb your curiosity and wait until she decides to show you.

We walk in the corridor naked at our house, but it sounds like your daughter doesn't. You might cause a traumatic moment for her. Seriously, ask yourself why you want to do this?

Answer 9

there is a book that i bought my daughter when she was about 11.  it explains all the changes that her body is gonna go through.  all about b*****s,pubic hair, shaving etc.  it's a interesting book.  it explains about periods also.  i bought mine at target.  i found it on the end of the aisle.  it's thin-maybe 30 pages or so.  it has a white cover.  i'm sure walmart would have it too.  maybe you could sit down with her and go through it and talk things through.  i'm sorry i can't remember the name of the book-but it's worth looking for.  hope it works for you.  

Answer 10

take her for a girls day out.. as far as the pubic area I think that should be still left to her privacy.. but on your girls day out have your nails done and take her to buy a training bra and tell her that soon will be time she starts wearing one and share some of your memories of her age and changing with her and let her know how you were embarrased about some stuff and wish your mom would have made it easier to talk to her about this stufff and reassure her she can come to you with anything.

Answer 11

What is your relationship with your daughter like now?

I mean is she comfortable coming to you with personal things?  If so then when that particular pot starts to boil she will ask questions.  Otherwise you are going to have to pick a time, knock on her bedroom door and ask her if its a good time to talk.

After you have ~the talk~ you can take it from there.

As far as SEEING the changes, well there is seeing and then there is seeing.  Depending on her modesty and comfort level, talking may have to suffice.

Answer 12

You would be able to tell if she needs a bra by the outside of her shirt. If there isn't really anything going on..they have trainers that are really more for modesty than anything else.  You can always get cute little camisoles for underneath as well.

Answer 13

when u go to buy a first bra for her is the perfect time- if u can go just u and ur daughter if u bring any other kids then its akward if u have already bought her her first bra then try a day when u and her can go and get manicures and pedicures then u guys can hang out and stuff like that but believe me, if she doesnt have b***s yet shes not going to start her period for another 2 years hoped i help!