How to help my friend?

Question

My best friend is g*y (we've known each other since school and she came out just after college). She's recently come out of relationship with a girl wh was an absolute PSYCHO and made my friend's life h**l with her possessiveness, jealousy and emotional blackmail. It took my friend a lot of courage to leave this girl as she was genuinely in love with her, but we could all see what the crazy girl was doing to my friend's well being and sanity.

My hubby works/drinks with a girl whos a L*****n, she's lovely, very butch, funny, down to earth, a bit mad (lol). She met my friend at our house a few weeks ago and has since told my hubby that she thinks my friend is really hot and wants to meet her again.

We're having a BBQ this weekend and my hubby wants to invite his work friend and introduce her to my best friend. He thinks it will cheer her up to meet someone new and maybe start afresh. The only thing I'm worried about is that my friend is still very vulnerable since her break up with her ex (about a month ago) and I don't know if its a good idea for her to get involved with anyone else just yet, I'd hate to see her hurt again.

Do you think I should tell my friend that someone who is interested in her will be at the BBQ and see how she feels about it?

Answer 1

You are a really good friend everyone needs a friend like you! I think it would be a good idea not to tell her and keep it to yourself and as the others said she can make up her own mind without being pushed into anything and do it at her own pace. If asked later why you did not tell her I would say I thought you guessed which, unless she is immune to romance she will have guessed anyway after meeting for the first time. I would ask your husband not to push or stir anything though... I only say this because my friends and there hubbys are all straight and they obviously mean well, but can sometimes push things they dont understand intimately. All the best to your friend

Answer 2

you should just invite ur friend 2 tha bbq and get her talking 2 everyone and see what happens

Answer 3

There's no harm in introducing them in a social situation. Then they can make up their own minds as to whether it goes anywhere.

Answer 4

I also don't think you should tell her that the girl is interested - I'm sure they'll end up talking again if they did before.  If she's interested, then good.  If not, she won't pursue it.  She can decide if she's ready and the pressure isn't on you that way.

Answer 5

I wouldn't tell her....if she's just out of something that went to crazy land....pressure is the last thing she needs...especially if she's going to be dealing with a butch in heat (lol). So if its just something unexpected it could at least help her ego and healing. Its kinda hard to know how much time a person needs to move on.  I'd love an update on this one....lol.  

Answer 6

Kudos to your friend for being strong enough to walk away! :)

I wouldn't tell your friend about it... well, maybe I would ask if only in the guise of determining if she feels ready for another relationship. :) Some people can bounce back remarkably fast, so maybe a month is enough time for her.

I would invite her to the BBQ without telling her about the "someone interested". She won't feel pressured or nervous if she's not aware of the 'set up' before hand. Introduce them casually and let them make the next move. :)

Oh, Is "butch" her type? Butches are s**y, but not everyone's type.

Hope it goes well! :)

Answer 7

just invite her around as if she doesnt  match up with her they will become friends and meet other people thr each other

Answer 8

yeah the others really answered it first.......about not really getting her worked up before the BBQ.....if pos to make it look less like a set up invite quite a few people and let it happen. try boosting her confidence before hand though like a bit of pampering so she feels like she can be a bit braver, am sure the work lady will let her presence be known x