How to help my "insecure" wife feel more secure with her body?

Question

Looking at my wife, you would say she is a 10 out of 10. Nearly every we pass makes eyes at her, and so on. There is one things holding her back. It's her labia minora. She feels it is unattractive. She has felt like this her whole life. It makes her so insecure that if someone she feels is good looking is comes across the television for one second she looks at me to see if I am looking. I do not "check out other women." I am much in love with my wife and think she is the most beautiful girl I have ever met. I have told her that her body is very beautiful all over (and I am being honest). It boggles my mind that she does not think so but I know I have no control over how she views herself. I guess I just want to make her feel beautiful. Telling her does not do it, and the ways that I have tried to show her do not seem to work either. She hides it during s*x, and has only let me see it twice. We have been married almost a year and have been together for three years.

To add fuel to the fire I made a HUGE mistake. She really enjoys s*x a lot. Ideally, I think she wants to have it once a day. A few months ago, I tried to make myself be able to last longer at s*x by "servicing myself" when I could so that when we had s*x I would finish so fast. A few times I looked at p**n, and randomly one day she asked if I had ever watched p**n. I was open and honest and told her a few times and I told her why. I said that if it didn't make her comfortable I would not do it anymore. She said she didn't care as long as I'm happy. A few days later I did not delete my internet history and she saw what I was looking at. She did not see what it was, she just saw it was p**n and she flipped. She got so mad at me and said she wasn't enough and was very upset. I said (honestly) it was a rare thing and she said it was ok, and I only did it to last longer. I apologized again and again and she says she forgives me but will never forget it and feels like I almost cheated on her and that I used other women to "get-off".

I am in deep and I feel so bad. Now we have next to no s*x and I know its my fault. I'm such an idiot. And I'm truly sorry. Is there anything I can do? I just want to make her happy again.

Answer 1

Maybe she should see a counselor. It might help to talk our her issues with a professional. Maybe go with her to be supportive.  

Answer 2

She needs to make herself happy before going and attacking you. But there's obviously no good way to tell her that. lol I've honestly looked into vaginal surgery for myself because I don't feel secure in that area either. She needs to look into it for herself if she's letting it run her life this much. Surgery won't solve everything though. She apparently doesn't trust you much. You should sit down and talk about it seriously without yelling or pointing fingers.

You're both beating you up for this and I don't find that you're to blame for this from what you've written here. She has low self-esteem and needs to work on herself.

Answer 3

Your wife has serious issues way beyond your p**n fancy.

Seriously like sexual abuse or something.  

I mean really, does she not know men don't care what it looks like, as long as you let them put their willy in it????  If it really is hideous check into plastic surgery. But to me, sounds like the real mess is upstairs.

Answer 4

Do you happen to be in either CA or NY?  Check out this site for her: http://www.labiaplastycenters.com/

but truthfully if you are already married than it shouldn't matter...

Answer 5

Ok, so she gets upset when you see a girl on t.v. U must not watch much tv. The only thing I can say (sorry to say it) man up, Dude your a guy. For her to get mad over stuff like woman on tv is crazy and you need to let her know that its not cool. You cant turn away every time you see a s**y body flash on tv which most of the time you know we think nothing of it.  about her feeling unsecure, I dont know I always tell my wife shes freaking s**y (when she dresses up) and start grabbing her *** and play with her. It makes her happy and it makes me happy aswell

Answer 6

tell her to go to her obgyn and they can refer to her to a surgeon who can take care of the problem