How to hold back tears ?

Question

Generally when my people yell at me I won't cry. However when I do something wrong my parents go pick out another ten flaws that I have [completely unrelated to what I just did]. And eventually it breaks me down, to a point where I'm not crying, but I can't control the tears that roll down my face. I've tried ignoring them, tilting my head back so they don't fall, thinking about how in about 2 and a half years I can move away. Nothing works for me, please help.

Answer 1

The problem here isn't you holding back tears, its them taking out their frustrations on you to feel better about themselves. They need help, not you.

Answer 2

It's okay to cry.  Emotion is not the same as weakness.  Sometimes you just can't help crying.

The only alternative is to remove yourself from the situation, either physically or emotionally.  With a lot of practice and determination, you can often mentally distance yourself from the situation - you don't listen to their words, you space out, you imagine yourself in a different situation.  Think about soldiers when a sargeant is yelling at them - on the outside they are stiff as robots, with no emotion, but inside they continue to think and feel.  Separating your "outside you" and "inside you" can get you through a lot of stressful and unpleasant situations.  Be careful not to take it too far, though, or you'll absent yourself when you really do need to be present (ignoring the problem vs solving it).

Try to cut your parents off - quickly assume responsibility for whatever you did wrong and suggest a positive solution or reprimand.  If they start to bring up past wrongs, calmly interrupt them and remind them that issue was already discussed or is unrelated, and suggest that we stick to the matter at hand.

Answer 3

Sadly, I think a lot of people parents do this!! Try not to let what they say get to you, and hold your head high :) Every person in the world has flaws, its really just human nature!!