How to i tell my mom...?

Question

How would I tell my mother that her Ex-Husband ( my ex stepdad) is invitied to my wedding? It was a messy divorce and they dnt talk. Me and him never got along while we lived together but do now that i live on my own.. How do i tell her and have her not be mad on my wedding day??

Answer 1

If you have been honest with your mom about your relationship with him now it shouldn't be a problem.  She will probably expect to see him there.  If not,  she's your mom and she loves you and it is your dad.  She should understand.  If not just promise to keep them separated from each other and ask him to leave after the wedding because of your mother's uncomfortable feeling.  They should both be understanding that it is your day.  It should be whatever you want that is important.

Answer 2

explain it to her and hope she understands :S

Answer 3

Personally, I wouldn't invite him.    This is your day and you don't want anything causing problems.  Just his very presence will be a source of contempt for your mother and will cause an uneasiness which you will pick up.   In turn, will cause you to worry about the situation and hence make YOUR day a living h**l.

Plus, I'm sure your mother has no idea that you are currently talking to the ex and she will find out if he does come.  This will cause her to feel like you've been talking about her (which I'm sure you haven't) behind her back.  She will feel betrayed.  

Un-invite him quick.

Answer 4

Uninvite him. You are being disrespectful. All of a sudden you "get along" with him?...Where is your loyalty?

I had a feeling it was about money.

Answer 5

I would tell her that exactly, that he is helping you pay for some of the wedding expenses and you kindda do owe it to him. As far as all of a sudden getting along with him? dont know if she will understand that. You can also talk to him and maybe he might decide not to go.

Answer 6

Tell your mother as soon as possible so she has a chance to get used to the idea.  Explain to her that now that you are an adult, you and X Step Dad get along OK.  Let her know that you want to have people that love and support you at your wedding.  Assure her that she and he won't be seated anywhere near each other, either at the wedding or reception.  Ask her to please put aside their differences for one day so you can celebrate your marriage with all of those that are special in your life.  Also speak with the X Step Dad about those same things.  You can also let each of them know that anyone causing a disturbance will be asked to stop once, then asked to leave.  It's not a matter of who you love more, or who you "owe" something to (unless that applies due to his helping pay for it), the issue is people that YOU want there to help YOU and your spouse celebrate.  

They are both more mature (theoretically) and should be able to put aside their differences for the few hours that they will be in the same place.  

Answer 7

Just tell her and if she gets mad explain that its your special day and you wanted him there and if she really loved you she would respect your wishes and be happy on your special day. Good luck sweetie! Congrats!

Answer 8

Be honest with your mom and tell her why you want your step dad to be there. She 'should' be able to understand, especially because he is contributing financially.