How to impress a woman vs. How to impress a man?

Question

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Wine her,

Dine her,

Call her,

Hug her,

Hold her,

Surprise her,

Compliment her,

Smile at her,

Laugh with her,

Cry with her,

Cuddle with her,

Shop with her,

Give her jewelry,

Buy her flowers,

Hold her hand,

Write love letters to her,

Go the end of the earth and back again for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Show up naked,

Bring beer

=)

I thought it was giggle worthy & wanted to share... & no, I'm not sexist

Answer 1

funny

Answer 2

Ah ah it's hilarious.

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know." The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again, there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"

Answer 3

Haha nice.