How to improve/increase intimacy with my wife???

Question

Me and my wife have s*x about 2 times a week... maybe 3... sometimes 1... lol... but seriously we have great chemistry physically... our marriage is going through some tough times right now... she was unsure if this is what she wanted and after much talk and going back and forth we have decided to do marriage counseling again and try our best to improve our marriage... we have 2 kids 6 and 2 years old... the 2 year old does get up in the middle of the night and find his way to our bed all the time and i hate it... i mean once he comes in there then there is no chance for anything to happen in the middle of the night or in the morning... i just dont want him in my bed... i love just me and my wife lying next to each other... and that bothers me... she doesnt mind as much... but she still doesnt want him to do it... when we both are into it we have mind blowing s*x... but she isnt into it all the time... she says for women its alittle more emotion involved and she is unhappy about her body and our marriage has been shaky... now i appreciate she hasnt stopped having s*x... we still do like i said 2 or 3 times a week... i just want it to be better and keep her into it... she says i am very much adaquate size wise... so thats not it... and that i am the best lover she has ever had by far... so i know thats not it... i know some of it is she isnt happy with her body... she is so beautiful i cant explain and she only weighs 135 lbs and is about 5 ft 6 in... so she is not big at all... her stomach has a little baby fat and does have strectch marks which really bother her alot... but i never tell her anything but she is so s**y and beautiful... but that doesnt matter cause she doesnt believe it... now we just got a gym membership to a great gym and she is so excited... im hoping that will help us alot... also we start back marriage counseling again in 2 weeks so im hoping that will help... i already am a romantic like giving her flowers and s**y little outfits... little surprise picnics and love notes... i mean she loves that stuff... am i crazy... sometimes i just think im greedy... cause some guys would love to have s*x 2 or 3 times a week... but i am so into my wife and i love her and she is the perfect woman for me... she is my dreamgirl... i have toned down how much i wanted s*x... h**l i could have it everyday all day...lol... but what guy wouldnt... lol... but i guess its not the amount that bothers me its the quality... i want her more into it and i would love for her to initiate it more so its not like im bugging her... any help here would be appreciated... thnks in advance...

Answer 1

Only thing missing from this question is your income....how much money do you make?  Assets?  These things come into play, when you are talking about the female s*x drive......

Just saying............

Answer 2

First off, you need to get up each time your child comes into the room and place him back in his bed, it will take a few weeks but they will eventually stop coming in.

Second, you have to make time for a date night, each week, this will give you both the chance to reconnect and give you the opportunity to make your wife feel special and s**y.

It takes work on your end, your wife is tired and finds it difficult to get into the mood each night, if you take over half of the work load it will improve your odds of having s*x.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

Your right you are just being too greedy.

Answer 4

Did you talk to her about these things?  Intimacy for a woman is related to emotionalism and feeling connected to her partner.  Awesome that you are going for counseling and I think the gym membership will help too!

When the time is right, have a conversation with her about what turns her on.  Communication is so important!

I commend you for your commitment to your wife and willingness to put the work in that is required to enjoy a deep, long term, fulfilling relationship.  You'll find that you'll go through stages in your relationship...especially when you have a family.  It'll all work out.  

Answer 5

What the @#* is that child doing in your bed????!!!

be persistent in making your kid sleep in his own bed, thats just rediculous, if you dont stop him now he will still be there in 4 yrs.

Firstly, 2-3 times a week isnt bad, I think you realise that. It might help if you help her out around the house a bit (in case you dont) Its ttrue what they say, a womans work is never done. If you help her a bit more she might have more energy.

Also, stimulate her to take time for herself, give her one evening a week that she can go and have a pamper session without having to worry about the house&kids. This will give her the feeling she looks better and looks after herself and make her feel pretty!

Answer 6

Does she work?  I know that after I had kids and didn't work, there was never a reason for me to get up and do something with myself just to be at home with the kids.  Thus, for a woman who doesn't feel s**y, s*x is the last thing on her mind.  How much time do you both spend together BEFORE going to bed?  These may sound like odd questions, but they are important.  If you are both waiting until you go to bed to have s*x, it's never going to happen.  My husband and I found this out the hard way.  By the time I got kids ready for bed, and then myself, the last thing I wanted to do is have s*x, I was too freakin' tired.  There may be a question of how she feels about herself too.  You mentioned the small belly pooch.  Mine drove me crazy and I didn't want anyone, not even my husband to see it.  Here are my suggestions.  If you are both home at night, after dinner, or even before, take the kids for a walk, this helps everyone.  Even if your tired, the walk can increase heart rate, and if you walk after dinner, it prevents the "eat dinner then want to sleep with a full belly" feeling.  Everytime your 2 year old gets up and makes his way to your room, take hime back to his room IMMEDIATELY.  Explain to him that this is his bed and he needs to sleep in it.  Play music, get some kind of toy, find something that will make him want to stay in his room.  And most importantly, don't wait until you go to bed to have s*x.  Make sure you are helping her get done what needs to get done at night for her day to be over.  Your wife in the beginning, will never initiate s*x first, I didn't, but turn a movie on for the kids, find your wife, and even if it's a quickie in the bathroom, the laundry room, (i don't sugguest closets, for some obvious reasons)etc... you'll start finding that she'll find a way to start having them too. Most importantly, make it about her.  If she's enjoying the quickie's and gets something out of them, you'll end up with a tiger on your hands. :)