How to improve my self-esteem?

Question

I feel that my boyfriend is a better person than I am. He earns perfect grades, he has a great personality, is very handsome, and has a job but still finds time for friends and school. All the boys want to hang out with him and all the girls just go crazy over him.

Me on the other hand? I get As, Bs, and Cs. I'm pretty quiet, so I'm not exactly loved by millions like him. I don't do anything special. Well, I don't drink, do drugs, or have s*x. But, neither does he so big whoop. I don't even have a job. I'm not drop dead gorgeous either, I just get called pretty or cute.

I'm just wondering what I can do for my self-esteem? I'll work on the grades once school starts again. I just want some ideas of activities or things that I can do so my boyfriend can say "My girlfriend __________. I'm so proud of her". Of course I'm doing this for myself too, it just hurts not hearing someone say they are proud of me. My parents haven't made me feel special or encouraged me since I was in 3rd grade, I'm now going to be in 12th.

Answer 1

u sound fine

Answer 2

Don't compare yourself to thers.  What you see on their outsides has nothing to do with how they feel on the inside.  Comparing yourself to others is a great way to make yourself feel lousy.  The trick is to discover what the great points about your self is.

From the AA/NA/OA, etc lessons comes a wonderful exercise.

Make a grateful list.

I'm grateful because I'm alive.

I'm grateful because my boyfriend loves me and values me.

I'm grateful for having a chance to improve my grades.

ETC.

It may sound trivial, but if you think of all the pluses rather than all the minuses, it helps you get a better perspective on life.

It's so much easier for all of us to make a huge list of what's not right about ourselves.  Go with the positive.

Answer 3

Try this.  Have you heard about affirmations?  It sounds really silly maybe, but give it a go.  Maybe it will help.  Copy the statement below and read it to yourself over and over, maybe 30 times a day. Some people put it in multiple locations, like in an appointment book, at their bedside, etc.  Try this one.

I am so smart.  I am beautiful, kindhearted and I can do whatever I put my mind to.  I am strong and interesting.  I deserve to be happy and proud of myself.

By the way, it doesn't matter if you don't believe this.  If you stick with it and repeat it over and over, you will begin to believe it over time...really within weeks.....and you will shift your view of yourself.  Give it a go!

By the way, in todays world, you aren't drinking, drugging or having s*x? WOW!!! Major accomplishment! Good for you!  Also, be proud of yourself that you picked a loving boyfriend who shares your values. I am sure he sees how special you are.  Girl, you are doing an aweful lot RIGHT!  Keep it up and give yourself a shot of self worth with this affirmation!  

Answer 4

maybe you are the same person as me, i feel exactly the same just my boyfriend and i aren't in school.

you know what the underlying issue is insecruity and wanna know a little secret

HE IS NO BETTER THAN YOU.

and do you really need someone nto reassure you that you are special you aren't going to have someone patting you on the back your whole life oy know you need ot learn to become independant and realise yo are as great as ever, no matter what anyone else tells you or doesn't tell you.  

Answer 5

Keep a diary. It helped me a lot.

Answer 6

The best thing to do to help boost your ego, is to exercise, cardio releases endorphins which is a natural chemical in your brain that makes you happy and keeps you positive. Also, you should know that there has been research done, and most guys subconsciencely date girls that are better then them. So the fact that he is dating you means he already thinks highly of you. Ask your boyfriend if he's proud of you, and let him know that you need to hear it once in a while to make you feel good. Guys are the last to read minds, they LOVE when you tell them what you're thinking. Good Luck, and just think, in 1 year you will have a high school diploma, and that IS something to be proud of!

Answer 7

ask yourself this question

why does my boyfriend have these things that i don't and trust me he's not born with then

when you have the answers modify them to suit you and go for it