How to improve the intimacy with my wife?

Question

Me and my wife have s*x about 2 times a week... maybe 3... sometimes 1... lol... but seriously we have great chemistry physically... our marriage is going through some tough times right now... she was unsure if this is what she wanted and after much talk and going back and forth we have decided to do marriage counseling again and try our best to improve our marriage... we have 2 kids 6 and 2 years old... the 2 year old does get up in the middle of the night and find his way to our bed all the time and i hate it... i mean once he comes in there then there is no chance for anything to happen in the middle of the night or in the morning... i just dont want him in my bed... i love just me and my wife lying next to each other... and that bothers me... she doesnt mind as much... but she still doesnt want him to do it... when we both are into it we have mind blowing s*x... but she isnt into it all the time... she says for women its alittle more emotion involved and she is unhappy about her body and our marriage has been shaky... now i appreciate she hasnt stopped having s*x... we still do like i said 2 or 3 times a week... i just want it to be better and keep her into it... she says i am very much adaquate size wise... so thats not it... and that i am the best lover she has ever had by far... so i know thats not it... i know some of it is she isnt happy with her body... she is so beautiful i cant explain and she only weighs 135 lbs and is about 5 ft 6 in... so she is not big at all... her stomach has a little baby fat and does have strectch marks which really bother her alot... but i never tell her anything but she is so s**y and beautiful... but that doesnt matter cause she doesnt believe it... now we just got a gym membership to a great gym and she is so excited... im hoping that will help us alot... also we start back marriage counseling again in 2 weeks so im hoping that will help... i already am a romantic like giving her flowers and s**y little outfits... little surprise picnics and love notes... i mean she loves that stuff... am i crazy... sometimes i just think im greedy... cause some guys would love to have s*x 2 or 3 times a week... but i am so into my wife and i love her and she is the perfect woman for me... she is my dreamgirl... i have toned down how much i wanted s*x... h**l i could have it everyday all day...lol... but what guy wouldnt... lol... but i guess its not the amount that bothers me its the quality... i want her more into it and i would love for her to initiate it more so its not like im bugging her... any help here would be appreciated... thnks in advance...

Answer 1

I really dont see theres a problem with you and your wife..

I was in ur shoes before.. and kids loved to sleep on our bed.

and we ended up in the guess room  to do our s*x.. LOL..

just find the way to do it.. you will enjoy it..

there's no need for conselling,

good luck!!!

Answer 2

I sometimes feel the same as your wife - have moments of feeling unattractive and ugly even though my husband loves me to pieces. It really has nothing to do with what you doing now and how you do it! She needs to like herself first before she allows you to like her back. There is so much pressure these days too stay thin and sometimes as a woman you pick up a little weight -the media says this is ugly and it affects how you think about yourself. You are every normal to want s*x all the time -have you told her how you feel??? Speak to her about your baby in the bed and how it frustrates you! I feel sit down and everything you mentioned above -tell her to her face.... You seem like a great husband and i wish you both the best!

Answer 3

I understand what you are saying.. when you are blessed to have a woman you are very attracted to, you cannot get enough...

it is emotional for women.. she will either get used to the tummy stuff, or work hard to get rid of it.. you just have to be supportive and not push the issue.. I've been told that the more you bring up the topic, the less she will want to... you have to think like a woman, sorry.. just have to.. that is tough because on some aspects, we cannot think like that... you have to take a step back.. I don't think she wants all the control with it; because now you have given her all the control.. I have noticed a stupid game forms where you have to pull back a bit, so the other has to work for it a little..

the kid issue is a tough one.. we kept ours out of the bed.. sometimes they have a bad night and we let them there for a bit.. then, I get up and carry them back to bed.. they all pretty much stay put now.. there are some things you have to change in that department as well.. kids will have bad nights and cannot always have "your time" with each other..

every relationship and family is different.. you cannot compare your life to anyone elses... there are good and bad with everything ... something you have to deal with..

Answer 4

women have it tough...We need to be a mother and a wife and sometimes we can't be both.  we loose our identity and even though you could be saying and doing all the right things, us women loose who we are once we have a few kids running around the house.  It is extremely difficult to be both a mother and an amazing lover.  It could be that while she's making love with you, she's worried about the teacher's meeting the next day, or something with the kids.  I would try to organize a night where there are no kids around, she may need a vacation!

Answer 5

she has already told you the answer, you need to listen:

it is different for girls, it is more emotional.

Your relationship can't revolve around s*x, even though you like

s*x, it isn't healthy to be obsessed and all-consumed by it.

if you keep insisting on the s*x thing you are going to make her frustrated and insane, s*x will become a chore for her instead of an act of love.  I know- I been there...