How to know if my boyfriend still has feelings for his ex...?

Question

We've been together for 5 months. He is a couple years younger than me I'm 29, and it's going pretty good. Until yesterday I had no doubts. I had access to his computer and was a bit curious, so I started looking at his pictures (which I found that I had already seen most of them). Found some naughty links...which don't bother me. Then realized I could view his emails. Ohhhhh bad idea! I found a couple emails from his ex (the one that really shook him up, before me) the last email dated earlier this month and although no where there it implies that he has been unfaithful, the fact that he has kept communicating is bothering me. Should I worry? He has not given me any reason to doubt how he feels for me, but I can't help thinking that he might still have feelings for her (deep down). What do I do? We have a good communication so I feel guilty for checking his email. Should I randomly ask him about her? (we've talked about our exes before). Please someone let me know what to do.

Answer 1

he def still has feelinsg for her

Answer 2

Yep...the feelings are still there...

Don't ask about her.

It'll get him angry and maybe suspicious...

Just try to wait it out and see...

Good luck!

Answer 3

Snooping is really bad for your relationship.  It's better to be upfront and honest.  If you find something while snooping, you have only yourself and the way you handled your relationship to blame if it goes sour.

Now you need to be honest and tell him you were snooping, ask for forgiveness, say you'll never do it again, then and only then can you ask him about his true feelings.

You screwed up.  Maybe you can fix it.  Maybe

Answer 4

From the story, it doesn't sound like he still has feelings for her.

If you want to just talk to him about it, I suggest you do it in a manner that he won't think you're suspicious of him (even though he hasn't done anything.)

Just kind of bring her up casually, and you will be able to tell what he thinks of her by the way he talks about her.

I've had this kind of problem before. My boyfriend's last girlfriend meant a lot to him, and it frustrated me a bit. And she would flirt with him all the time knowing quite clearly that he's moved on. They don't keep in contact now, but I think it's because he knew I didn't like it.

If it bothers you that they're still in contact and you're afraid something might come from it, it's a good idea to tell him. It's a good chance he might be understanding of how you feel.

Hope that helped at all!

Answer 5

I think you've learned one valuable lesson already - it's never a good idea to read someone else's mail :-)

Seriously, don't worry about it. It truly doesn't matter if he still has "feelings" for his ex-girlfriend. You'd expect him to still have feelings for you if you guys broke up for whatever reason, right?

Lots of guys (and girls) exchange email with their exes on a more-or-less regular basis. If he's not actively trying to hide something from you (like by hanging up the phone when you walk in the room), don't sweat it.

Answer 6

from experience.  i have been with my guy since the end of april, but i still have feelings for my ex.  Everything with my guy is great, but i cant help but think about my ex.  I still talk to my ex and still cannot admit to him that I am with someone else.  If he is still communicating with her it is not necessarily a bad thing if he is not talking about being with her and still caring about her.  As long as he can admit to her that he is with you and that there will never be anything between them.  It just depends on how much they talk and what they talk about.  In my case I am wrong, but I am slowly backing away of my ex.  It just is taking me time to let go.  I really care about my bf and would never cheat on him with anyone including my ex.  You just need to talk to him about it and be honest with him about it.  He will respect you more if you just ask him about his ex.  Just bring it up casually.  I wish you luck with everything.  

Answer 7

if he talks about her he still has feelings for her

Answer 8

I would confront him