How to let Christian men know that you like them?

Question

I really like this guy at church, but I am relatively new to this particular church and I have never dated/been interested in a practicing church-going christian so i am not sure what the rules are.

He is pretty cool, 31 and a divorcee and I am shy, 23 and single. I like him and I believe he finds me attractive but has not made a move.

How do I 'let him know' that I want him to make a move without breaking any social rules/norms? I like him a lot, and we've spoken very briefly but i want to get to know him more.

Thanks!

Answer 1

There really aren't any 'rules' for dating a Christian man. I've dated religious men before, though I'm not particularly myself, and it's generally the same with flirting and just being yourself. Show your personality to him and get to know him outside of a church environment. Ask him our for a lunch date, or something just as casual. Then there isn't any pressure on either of you and it can be as simple as friends having coffee together, or the perfect chance to show him who you really are and get him to like you more.

The fact that he is Christian and a divorcee can make him a bit more cautious when starting new relationships, so that may be why he is a bit hesitant to ask you himself or get too involved.

Good luck!

Answer 2

there is nothing wrong with you asking him.. or having the pastor help you. and older lady in the church might be a good idea to talk to him about asking you out..

Answer 3

Well - I'm off to a good start with my reply by giving 4 thumbs down!   I'm a 71-yr. old Christian widow whose husband was a Church Elder and Bible Study teacher for more than a dozen years.

The rules are different with Christian men as, if from a Christian home, they will have been raised to know the man is the one who is the head of household. The man is the one who does the asking out and, only, of young women known within the congregation as someone who has been born-again since this is what the Bible commands.  It is unilkely he will ask you out based, solely, on a physical attraction to you but will, probabaly, do so once he sees evidence of Christian commitment from you (women's group Bible Study or an all-Church evening Bible Study).  He will ask women, like me, what my/our thoughts are about you.  He will note any other involvement you have and will ask more thoughts and opinions. Going to Missionary luncheons and, generally, being a church-involved woman is what will attract him most to you -- unless -- he knows he has been divorced on grounds which aren't substantiated by God's Word.  God hates divorce but, in cases of physical abuse and adultery, most churches accept these reasons as being substantiated well enough.  If you learn this man's divorce isn't the result of his wife's adultery, or is based upon 'incompatibility', or his adultery, or physical battery, or addiction to pornography, or other non-Biblical reasons, this is when, should he ask you out, you are 100% up-front with telling him what you know and wish to discuss this with him before accepting a date but, he may take you to lunch to discuss it.  Don't allow your physical attraction to get in the way of your spiritual life. He may still be working on re-bulding some degree of lost faith and sinning against God so, if I were you, I'd let it rest for a few months.  Once you get to know some of the women, and couples, yiou could have a small luncheon party at your home and invite him but, offer he bring a date. The churches are busy at Christmas-time so you may be called upon by the Holy Spirit to lend a hand in children's ministry for the Holiday celebrations.  Why not re-evaluate in late November?  At 23, you needn't be engaged for another two years!  He may, also, be considering a missionary posting which requires a, very, dedicated and hard-working partner for this to be successful. Time is on your side but be sure you work on 'redeeming the time' (see Eph. 5).  May you soon come to know the privilege of some close friends within the fellowship and may the Lord make His face to shine upon you.

Answer 4

To send strong signals without saying anything official, Touch him a lot when you communicate, stroke his arm as you gesticulate and learn on him a little... this ought to get him noticing.. afterwhich give him time to think through if he wants to start a relationship with you. Then see if he responds or disappear. Good luck

Answer 5

Ask the Lord to lead you.  If the Lord wants you two to be together then he will make it happen.  What does his word say?  Give it to him.

Answer 6

I guess you should just be nice and smile when he sees you.

maybe bake him something and bring it to some chruch funtion.

Let him see how sweet a person you are with everyone and he will follow his heart.

Answer 7

The rules are the same as anywhere else, go up talk to him, touch his arm, do what ever woman normally do to tell men your interested.