How to let a guy down without hurting him?

Question

so i know this guy who wants to be more than just friends but i really don't feel that way about him but i just don't know how to get it through to him that i just want to be his friend. and he knows he knows that i don't like him yet it almost seems that he doesn't care!! what should i do?

Answer 1

Its impossible not to hurt him if you tell him you just like him as a friend. You should just not say anything but don't initiate anything (so just kinda play dumb like you don't know his real intentions).

Even if he knows you don't like him, just treat him like a friend and nothing more. Don't go out of your way to hang out with him alone, don't send mixed signals. Just treat him like you would any other friend and he will move on. I don't think you need to tell him anything.

I've had guys do that to me (just treat me like a friend) and I got over it and no feelings were hurt and the friendship stayed intact.

Something you can do is if he does something nice for you say something like "thanks, you are a great friend".

Another way is to approach him and ask his advice about another guy. Don't do it rude, just do it like a friend would. Say something like "If you were a girl would you find so and so attractive?" He might me hurt at first and not let on about it, but it is the best way to get the message across without coming out and saying "I don't like you like that". Plus, he will be able to still act like a friend to you by giving you advice.  

Answer 2

I believe the best wait to do it is to just tell them the truth it is is always better in the long run you can always be friends and all just be honest with him.

Answer 3

Show him u understand that it might mean doing something u dont want to maybe kissing him or watevr. but truthfully guys need closure just like girls do and altho u didnt have a relationship u need to sit down and tell him in person how u feel.

Answer 4

Liz,

    If you've made it clear, and you aren't dating obviously - then he does know.  Also, if he's got strong feelings, he doesn't care whether you return them or not.  Guys feel similar to girls when they have crushes on people they aren't dating.  We (most of us) eventually learn to control it and not let ourselves feel anything for unavailable women, but when you are young, it's difficult.  

   There's nothing you can do but be nice to him as a person, but not in a flirty way. Don't say things like "you'll find the right one for you" because he doesn't want to hear that.  It sounds condescending when you have a crush for them to say stuff like that.  

   Also, don't feel guilty.  It's not your fault when someone gets a crush unless you were flirting mercilessly day in day out and it doesn't sound like this is the case.  Usually guys get crushes on girls just because they are being who they are, just like appreciating a sunset or the beauty of a forest.  It's not that innocent of course, but they are appreciating you for you.  It's a huge compliment really.   Just accept it as such,  don't act weird around him, don't avoid him or do anything mean, but don't flirt with him or use him for stuff either (probably goes without saying but some girls will and do).

Good luck with this.  It's a painful part of growing up, for both of you.

-Kevin

Answer 5

just be friends...he will get ova it

Answer 6

if he has ignored your signs of non-interest...go careful on this....He may be a bit unstable...and if you reject him too harshly, he may respond in an unstable way ...Hard to tell you how to handle him other than to say be cautious .

Answer 7

I am a guy, I know how, and here it is. The guy usually is the one to breakup, so he will probably act tough or like he doesn't care, that way he won't seem like a wuss. So you got to just go up to him and tell him that he's not right for you, unless he is the type that would watch what you want to watch and read what you like, then he might be a good person for you, try to get to know him better and find out, good luck, and try not to hurt his feelings if he the type of guy they'lll watch what you want to watch.

Answer 8

guys are dumb (i'm a prime example) so you may have to be blunt with him

be like "your a great friend, but i really only like you as a friend"

feel free to use lines like i don't want to hurt what we have as friends or something like that

don't be surprised if he goes completely jerky towards you sometimes we just get like that.  

Answer 9

hurt him

Answer 10

really get his attention that you don't like him

tell him straight up that you want nothing more than to just be good friends.

Answer 11

tell him once again that you don't feel that way and if he doesn't stop pressuring you than you can't even be friends.  Someone will always be left with hurt feelings when two people don't see eye to eye. You have to do what you feel is right.  Good luck sweety

Answer 12

thats an easy one liz just act like a pig around him. f**t, burp, pick your nose eat it if u must. the nastier you are, the further away u will push him. it may also be a good idea to tell him u slept with over 100 men and had a few three sums.  

Answer 13

There's no way not hurting him, especially if he's got his heart set on you. The healthiest thing to do is be straight with him and don't let him garner these false hopes and illusions. It'll help him move on, even if its painful.