How to make friends i have none ..please help me

Question

Hello.

I ‘m making this post as I don’t know where too start, when I was young at school I had lots of friends and they were always coming over etc and as I got older and had my own kids I lost my friends along the way somehow and now that I was dignosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and PTSD they just did the runner and didn’t want to be friends anymore I have NO friends at all and don’t know what to do?

I go to church and have contact that way but I really wouldn’t call them friends .

I see my social worker and my psycharist once a month but that is the only contact I have apart from my husband and family so what do I do? How do I make some nice friends? I have MSN and met someone but she has Borderline too and really doesn’t talk to much

How would you go about making female friends ? I was sexually abused and prefer to make female friends as males makes me kind of unconfutable

Thanks in adavance

Britney

Answer 1

First of all, if you want a friend, you have to be a friend yourself.

Answer 2

Hi,

The best way to make friends is to be a friend. To realise that everyone is different, nothing we mean to say is actually about you, and when you are desperate to make firiends, it can be seen as trying too hard.

All the best, and I hope your social worker gives you some good tips on learning a better way of life.

Mel

Answer 3

you have to start joining in clubs or organizations. are there classes you can take at the community college? you would meet people there. or try volunteering somewhere, you would also meet people. you have to meet people in order to make friends. so you must go out and participate in things that give you the opportunity to do that. and it isn't always necessary to tell new people about your mental illness right away, i would wait a while. my husband and son both have mental illnesses, and sometimes people are a bit judgemental, or afraid of it. sometimes its best for them to get to know you first-that way they cant dislike you because of a medical condition.  

Answer 4

i had this issue for a year when me and my longitme best friend got in a massive fight. i went to highschool and made my group. just do that.

Answer 5

BE URSELF

TREAT OTHERS THE WAY U WANT 2 B TREATED

BE HONEST

GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

aw that sux I'm in your boat too, minus the abuse and all that cause I'm a loner, well i know lots of girls shop so maybe the mall, or if u like quilting a quilters guild???????

Answer 7

Hey, i know im a guy, but im g*y, and id love to have a new friend if you would like :) xxslipknotfreak46 is my yahoo and xslipknotfreak46 is my aim, send me a messsage if you feel up to it, i love new friends :)

Edit- my msn is [e-mail]

Answer 8

Have you thought of going to one of those woman's meetings? That should be the perfect thing for you to do.  

Answer 9

I am sorry to hear about your problems. I can relate in my own way, since I suffer from long-term depression. In terms of socializing, an issue for me is that other people just don't understand psychological problems that well. They might mean well, but they throw out cliches like "Oh you'll get over it" or tell you to feel better by saying affirmations, etc. Sometimes, these cliches can have the reverse effect and make you feel worse, so you feel like saying "You just don't get it, do you?"

I had a girlfriend with borderline personality disorder (BPD) plus serious drug abuse issues. When we met, she was no longer on drugs, but her BPD drove me crazy. We still are good friends, although the romantic relationship ended. WIth BPD, she would swing suddenly into angry outbursts for the slightest reason. A couple times, she actually punched her psychiatrist!! (I know, some people would think that's a good thing to do.)

I live in NYC where I attend support groups for people with depression and bipolar disorder. It is great to share experiences with people who understand what you are going through. I wonder if there are groups like that where you live.

However, it can be helpful to be with folks who live relatively "normal" lives so you are not always surrounded by others with similar issues as you. If possible, it is probably not too helpful to become too identified with the labels and experiences of BPD and PTSD. After all, you are a wife and mother.

Besides support groups or even Anonymous type of meetings, I don't have a whole lot of "advice" to offer you. Mostly, I wanted to say you are not alone. There are others in similar situations.

All my best.