How to make my 7 year old behave better and stop lying?

Question

My son constantly lies to me and my husband, about EVERY little thing. He will say or do something bad, and turn around and say, Mom, I SWEAR I didn't say/do that. He blames everything on his 2 year old sister, no matter what it is. He misbehaves at school-constantly talking, won't sit still...I don't know what to do. I have tried taking away things he likes. I have used the time out. I have spanked him. It all just makes it worse!!! He will scream at the top of his lungs. He even tells people we are mean to him. I have tried it all and am at my wits end! Is there any advice you can give me, that will work?

Answer 1

Spend more time JUST with him, Mommy & me time. Everytime he tells the truth praise him. "Its so good your being honest with me (insert name), I appreciate it"

Emphasize whyy lying is wrong and that you never and never will lie to him.

The school thing isn't a big issue, that will fix in time. Just spend time with him.

He is way to old to be spanked.

Explain to him how his sister couldn't be responsible for what ever hes blaming her for. Then say something like "How would you feel if someone blamed you for something you didn't do?"

Tell him he can tell you anything. When he does tell you things don't get mad.

Screaming at your kids is the worst thing you could do ever, so when ever he acts up keep your cool and talk calmly and quietly. If you talk quietly he has to quite down to hear what your saying.

He's jelous about not being the baby of the family anymore. Have him do little tasks that help the 2yr old and emphasize how old he is. How he's such a good big boy.

hope this helps, most of this is just a phase he will grow out of

Answer 2

I think maybe hes jealous of the two year old and does need a little more special attention from you and your husband, hes not the center of attenton anymore and maybe you could find a sport or after school activity to get him in to make him feel part of the team.

Answer 3

well i hope its just a phase cause i think all 7-10 year olds lie about alot of stuff!!. i have a friend that lies about everything, and its because her parents dont give her enough attention so he might be doin it to get attention. and with the sittin still problem thats a typical boy haha.

Answer 4

As someone else has already mentioned, you might find that praising him helps with his behaviour.  

I never really had any problems with my 10 year old son misbehaving, but he was very lazy at school.  He was more than capable of doing the work, but would only produce about two lines of work in 45 minutes.  If I asked him to do anything around the house, or even get dressed, I would have to keep constantly asking him to do it.  Thankfully he has a really good teacher now who makes the effort to praise and encourage him.  

I started doing it at home too, giving lots of praise and encouragement when he does something well.  His attitude has changed a lot and now he actually enjoys coming home from school and telling me how well he did.  He's changed so much, so it really can help.  

Obviously don't ignore his bad behaviour, but make a big deal out of it when he does something good or when he doesn't lie.  

Answer 5

This is a website I refer to deal with problem behaviors at my school. This link is for their advice on what to do about lying.

http://www.disciplinehelp.com/parent/det...

In the upper left-hand corner, you can check out the different sections under "four steps". You might want to look at the "mistakes" section to see what not to do.

Answer 6

He needs more attention. Especially if that is his step father he is living with. You need to spend more time -one on one time with out the rest of the family with him.

If you can arrange your schedule so you can be at his school regularly and unannounced. Coach a little leage team. Give him a belief system so that he knows the difference between right and wrong and limit his tv, computer and video game time to 1 hour a day. Read to him every day.  

Answer 7

Sounds like he needs some positive attention from you.  Catch him doing something good and focus on that good thing he did.  Also it works to have him overhear what a great thing he did to someone else so that he sees that you notice his good actions and wants to live up to what you say about him.  Keep this up and then take him out for some one on one time and do something he loves or give him some of his favorite food and just say you are so glad he is your son.