How to make my father be reasonable?

Question

I'm 20 years old, away at college, and my little sister still living at home just told me that my father is angry because he found out a few things I did in high school when I was 16. None of them were very bad...i went out to lunch from school a few times (the school allowed it but my parents didn't want me to), I kissed a few boys my dad didn't approve of. She also said he was mad about me lying about my friends doing drugs...but my friends didn't do drugs. I don't know where he's hearing this information, I'm upset that he's assuming all of it is true without talking to me about it, I'm angry that he's complaining to me to my sister and mother behind my back, and I don't understand how he can be mad at me for insignificant stuff I didn't tell him about 4 years ago. How should I handle this, and what if anything, should I say to him?

Answer 1

Just tell him what's true and what isn't. Say "My friends didn't do drugs. I did go out to lunch from school though." Then apologize for it, tell him that you were just immature at the time and that it's all in the past.

Answer 2

It sounds like your father needs to grow up and realize he is not in control of you now. It is all in the past. If you are away at college then I would measure that as a parenting success. Ignore it his childish behavior. If you let it bother you then you let your father control you, and that pattern could go on for the rest of your life if you don't put it in check now.

Answer 3

Unless he says anything to you or pulls an attitude, let it ride.  He's likely just upset that his little girl went off to college and now he has something new to complain about to the other people in the house to keep you 'there'.  He more than likely misses you and "daddyizing" you with speeches and lectures LOL.  Call him up and ask him to come see you for a day and go out for a day to have a Daddy/Daughter day.  Just be you and don't bring it up.  He'll see how happy you are and how well you're doing and he'll likely turn into a big mushball.  I seriously don't think it's too much to worry about.