How to make your husband more romantic?

Question

I love my husband and he is a great man! I just wish that he was more romantic from time to time. I tell him all the time that I wish he was more romantic but he always says that he doesn't know how and can't think of things. So, in return I show him how to be romantic by being romantic to him. He then gets all sad because he wish he thought of it for me. I just don't know how to get him to really see that I wish he was more romantic and spontaneous about things. Any tips?!

Answer 1

You can't change a person.  Love them for them and not who they could be.

Answer 2

Don't Force him Lady. let him DO the way he likes

Answer 3

You can't make him be more romantic. It is either in him or it is not. You can tell him that you wish he were more romantic. Give him some ideas. Us guys are kinda dumb in this department.  

Answer 4

It's time you accept him for who he is and stop trying to change him! If he is a great man, enjoy it in and of itself; a great guy is a great thing to have. Think about all that makes him great, and start appreciating it more. No one's perfect, there may be things for each of you that you would rather change in the other person, but don't dwell on them - focus on the positives. Not everyone is "spontaneous", but perhaps the benefit of not being too spontaneous is being more reliable; everything has a good side and a bad side, so look at the good sides of every trait. More often than not, people who go out of their way to do all these things you might call "romantic" are just showing off - looking for attention and approval. So, your guy is more low-key; big deal. Look closely, and you will see that he's been showing you his love all along - by being there for you, taking care of the family, working hard - it's just you're looking in the wrong places, and you don't see or appreciate the quiet everyday devotion that is the very foundation of a long-term relationship.

Answer 5

Good God, when are you women going to learn:

MOST MEN AREN'T ROMANTIC!

Who wants something they have to FORCE, anyway?

I don't get it!

Answer 6

Well, it IS a man thing. Unfortunately, many times we learn this lesson too late. I almost lost my marriage because of my lack of attention and romance to my wife.

I call it the "Honey, I love you and I'll let you know if I ever change my mind" syndrome. Many of us men, like myself, were never taught how to be romantic. I learned it the hard way.

I have a couple of ideas for you. I know that most people don't go to the "s*x" shops because they're afraid they'll be seen. Many private lingerie shops have back rooms for that stuff. They have boxes of his/her cards. One for each week of the year. Some are naughty, some are just romantic. Such as "his" card- Draw your wife a warm bubble bath, spread silk rose petals around the tub with some tea light candles. While she's in the tub, give her a massage or foot rub.

Don Juan DeMarco is a movie with Johnny Depp and Marlon Brando. It's very good for romantic ideas for the hubby. The theme song by Bryan Adams is also VERY good."Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman"

Here are a few more love songs you could burn for him on CD to get his imagination working.  I Melt (Rascal Flatts), The Way You Look Tonight (Elton John), Wonderful Tonight (Eric Clapton), When I Fall in Love (Nat King Cole), I said I Love You ,But I Lied (Michael Bolton).

Tell him to start writing love letters to you. I promise, even if he's never done it, the words and felings will come. They did for me and I'm dumber than a box o' rocks!

Good luck!

  

Answer 7

You are absolutely already doing the right thing!

Your man is in touch with his emotion enough to express his sadness + tell you 'he wish he had thought of it for you'.  THAT is romantic! Show him, encourage him when he does his lttle steps towards being romantic. Show him how happy those little things make you feel or if he feels great with your romantic efforts - equate to that would be how you feel too.

Show him the joy of being romantic and doing something romantic for the partner.  The fun & excitement in the planning etc.

Patience....  lots of it but he will get there.  Don't push him too fast though, or he may get all insecure, feeling inadequate & trigger his 'I am a failure' button a lot of men have.

About being spontaneous... agian do it by example, subtly..  and if he comes up with any, please notice it and do it joyfully even if it may not be exactly what you wish for just yet.

Remember, he is in training!

PS. Avoid comparing him with other people !

Answer 8

Hey Megan, Some guys just need a little encouragement (or maybe he's just lazy) Share some articles from women's mags with him about being romantic. Get him a subscription to Men's Health, they have monthly articles about ways and places to be romantic.(who knew that doing the laundry could be foreplay?) You could set up weekly opportunities for romance for the two of you. My wife and I have weekly massage night where we alternate who gives and who gets. Talk to him about romance, it's likely that he's intimidated by having to be creative and doesn't want to be ridiculed or embarrassed if he tries something that you think is silly. Tell him what you like. If he still doesn't get into it, maybe he's just not that romantic of a guy and you need to make a  tough descision.

Good Luck!

Valerie X: Get over yourself! One guy burns you and we're all jerks, right?

Answer 9

your trying to change him as a person it sounds like to me.. if you have to tell him how to be romantic and its making him sad.. sounds kind of selfish to me.. maybe he does try to be romantic and you just don't see it.. i would leave the subject alone.. let him try on his own.  don't depress the poor man with your superior ways of being romantical.  hes your husband you should love him for who he is. and accept him for his flaws..

Answer 10

You can't make him into what you want him to be.   You may desire that however that is not how he comes.  How hard is it to get someone to change?   Very.  People are who they are.  Instead of trying to make him romantic...try suggesting things that you would like to do.  Say honey...I think we should get away for the weekend to a nice bed and breakfast in montana.  Then ask him if he would be willing to make the arrangements.  Men are problem solvers...they don't think like a woman...never have and never will.   Walt Disney and the fairy tale life is great but not realistic.   Your husband is a great man without the romance.  Remind yourself everyday of the wonderful characteristics he has.  Learn to just love him the way you want to be loved and if he catches on great...if not...it's ok.   You cannot make a elephant purr.   Celebrate HIM, be thankful for HIM,  Love HIM.  

Read the proper care and feeding of husbands.  It will help I promise

Answer 11

I would just continue to be the bigger person and "showing" him exactly what romance is. Romance him how you wish to be romanced.  Let him learn on his own how to romance you, because he will feel awkward if he tries to repeat the same stuff you do. It will take lots of time and patience.  If he still doesn't catch on, then you may want to consider sending him to a passion party.  If you are in Northern California, I would be more than happy to be your consultant.

Answer 12

1  At spas that offer a Razul chamber, you paint your lover with colorful muds, then sit on tiled thrones under a dimly lit dome, while herb-scented steam rises around you. Soon a gentle rain begins to fall, washing away the mud, leaving you both cleansed and refreshed.

Couples suites generally feature side-by-side massage tables where a pair of massage therapists works in tandem. The massages are intended to relax muscles and release tension, but the therapists are professional health workers. You’ll have to retire to a private room for your “happy ending.”

Luxurious beds, spacious Jacuzzis, fireplaces, candles and champagne are a few of the amenities included in most couples spa packages. Some spas offer private meals ranging from oysters to chocolate truffles.

Step2  The couples suite may include a secluded outdoor courtyard, often with a private pool—even a waterfall. The perfect place to get in touch with your inner Adam and Eve.

Step3  Couples can choose from a range of other spa services. Here are a few we find especially erotic.

Hot Rock Massage:

Smooth, gently warm stones are placed on your body, then run gently along your muscles.

Lomi Lomi:

In this Hawaiian massage technique, the massage therapist dances during the deep-muscle treatment. It’s a form of Hula!

Watsu: This massage performed in water frees both the mind and the senses.

Herbal Soaks:   From bubbles to rosebuds, you can design your ideal romantic and relaxing tub for two.

Body Scrubs:   When was the last time someone scrubbed you all over with a gentle sponge? The ultimate comfort experience.

Massage Instruction:   Many spas now offer private instruction teaching couples the best techniques to use on each other. Once you’ve mastered the basic moves, the therapist retires to let you practice on each other.