How to overcome conservative approach towards hugging and wearing exposing clothes...?

Question

Hi,

I have been brought up in a modern but a bit conservative family.

We are conservative in terms of female hugging male during greeting as well as wearing a bit clothes which are a bit revealing.

For instance, ones showing a bit clevage, micro-mini's, especially spegetti tops... coz bra strip is sometimes visible... when a women is wearing it.

As i said, a modern family, so we are not living with 100 year old mentality that gals need to be in a completely covered clothes.

look at the following images:

http://images.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1065/812222131_2828d4ce93.jpg%3Fv%3D0&imgrefurl=http://flickr.com/photos/7903851%40N02/812222131/&h=500&w=418&sz=165&hl=en&start=7&um=1&tbnid=ZOH7RVHbxpcJ-M:&tbnh=130&tbnw=109&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dspaghetti%2Btops%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN

http://www.shirtsnob.com/archives/pictures/stewartmerino.jpg

My family has no problems with sleeveless,t-shirts,dresses till the time they are not reveling.

The problem is I really like a gal, everything is perfect.

But the only thing that created a problem is her modern up bringing.

I cant take her hugging male friends when greeting them. Also, i dnt like her wearing such clothes.

She wont change on this and i dont knw what to do?

I tried to tell myself to be more open minded, but it does not help.

As some of guys are A$$ho$$$, as i have been with them.

they don;t respect women, and only thing they have on their mind is S**.

I tried to tell her that this people intention when hugging gals is not tat of a friend, but her take on this is that, everyone is like this.

I just keep relationship as a friend with them, I don;t share my personal life. I understand that, all the men are this way only.

But my take is that when you know intentions of certain individuals are not appropriate, then shouldn't you change the way you are a bit.

i really like the gal, but dunno what to do?

She is very firm on not changing lifestyle a bit, and i am finding it difficult to digest when she hugs other males and even wears exposing clothes.

Is there a way to make her understand wat my concerns are? or somthing that can help me accept and be more open minded.

This is really important for me as, apart from this, we dont have any problems.....

eagerly waiting for someone to give me some suggestions....

Thank You.

Answer 1

If they do not change time will change them..

Answer 2

flow with the flow yaar... flow with the flow...

Answer 3

Man your query and few of the answers opened my eyes as well. Had I been in ur sitution, I might be having the same query. I am from India and society is even more, so to say, conservative here. Its divided into classes, I belong to middle class and the situation you are in will come generally in high class here. If we try to cross-over the class barrier, we will face this problem. You just have to understand its the way they live their life and their behaviour cant be judged with the yardstick which doesn't belong to their class. Everyone is right as long as there's no adultry.

I do understand ur concern. you perhaps are more possessive perhaps as much as I am. I also wont be able to stand even if my gf shakes hand with every other man, hugging is out of question. We belong to the same class, so no such issues. You have to believe her that she is sincere and faithful to you and thats the case there's no reason for you to think beyond.

But still the question remains that you dont like her hugging guys who are not good. I will say if she really loves you, she should give some thought to your feelings as well. I doubt if she stops hugging guys, it will end her friendship with them and in that case she should listen to you. You can talk to her and make her believe that its ur possessiveness which makes you think that way but you trust her fully. I dont find any reason why she should not agree to do this nuch for you. On the other hand if you can adjust to her ways, it will be even better.

Do let me know what happened?

Answer 4

Dresses don't tell about her personality..........if you like her.......you should accept her that way........

Answer 5

love her all the time, PRAISE her when she gets it just the way you want it.

Answer 6

The only thing you can control in life is your actions. As a chick - I am not a perv myself, and don't want to think about guys being pervy when I hug them. You are a control freak and you need to let that go. I understand why you want to be protective, but she doesn't want to look like a grandma, and she is not trying to be provacitive, she is just trying to fit in.