How to react to harassing bloke?

Question

A bloke who works with my wife has been getting over-familiar with her recently. He has been rubbing her shoulders and making comments etc to flirt with her and deliberately give the impression there's something going on. She's had a word with his boss to try and put a stop to it as of course rumour in the office is now that there's something going on. I trust my wife to deal with it at work, but I occasionally socialize with her colleagues, so how should I react to him next time we're in the same room?

BTW he's an arrogant b'stard so me yelling at him would probably make him pleased. What other approach should I take?

Answer 1

This is blatant unwanted harassment, and I totally understand how you must be feeling.  Your wife has taken it to the right person, but she needs to tell him to his face, in the office, if he approaches her again.  That will put a stop to the rumours.  

As to how you react to him when you're around him?  I would ignore him, even if he is stood in front of you.  This will get his back up more than you speaking to him.  If he asks you what is wrong, then you can say "I'm sorry, did you say something?" and then walk away!!  Don't give him the satisfaction.

Good luck to you and your wife.  You obviously have a very strong relationship.

Answer 2

you should ignore him completely. and ask your wife to deal with him. she should become very reserved and strict with him. i've had men (colleagues) hit on me at 2 different offices. i left the first one coz the boss there took no action. also, i was younger and very shy at that time. andi had this bad habit of trusting everyone, talking to male coworkers about personal stuff and i could never say NO. so i learned it the hard way and i took all the harassing quietly but when it started to get out of hands, i had to leave. at the 2nd job i told everyone i'm married to a great guy and we have a very happy marriage. and secondly, i remained reserved. i said hello and asked how they were but nothing more than that. only talked about office work if i had to. and although i was always smiling and stuff, they all knew they couldn't mess with me. another important thing is that her boss should take care of this. if she has already told her boss that she feels uncomfortable and feels harrassed, her boss should talk to that colleague. and that should control the situation. if nothing else works, then you wife should tell him straight away (in a strict and serious tone) that she's feeling harassed and he should back off.

so basically you don't have to do anything. infact you should act like you don't know anything yet. so that he has some fear of what would happen if you find out.