How to react when being called names by one of your parents?

Question

Ive been called hopeless by my mum before, when i and my dad confronted her about it because i was upset she said she never said anything of the sort to me. I let that go because this was quite a while ago. Then last week i overheard her talking about me to my dad because of an incident over cinema tickets and she called me stupid. I havent said anything to her about it because i no she will just deny it or say she doesnt remember. I dont have much confidence and many of my teacher know that, when it was parents evening my mum said i needed to boost my confidence, but how can i if i am being called names?

How would you react if you heard either one of your parents call you stupid?

would you take it to heart or just brush it off?

Answer 1

I'd pity them for being such heartless pathetic excuses for human beings.

Don't worry about it too much, you're worth way more than that.

Answer 2

honestly, Id just brush it off. Im not saying it wouldnt upset me, but for a quiet life Id just let it go. Im sure she doesnt mean it in a malicious or mean way hun. Mothers are often stressed out and just say silly things in the heat of the moment

xx

Answer 3

My wife used to do the same to one of our children, so much so that she has left school and just keeps saying " I will never get a decent job as I'm thick" so now I have to try to show her that she is not, the only thick person is her own mother, hence the reason we are no longer together. The best way round this is just to forge ahead in life and prove her wrong, then see if she feels guilty. The joke is she will always conveniently forget what she said and even say she would not have done it

I dont say its so in your case but some parents do this as they resent their children having a better or more exciting life than they did.

I am always reminded of a really fat woman that used to live near me, she overfed her children as she could not stand the fact that they were slim and in the end they were taken into care, she had therapy and eventually came to terms with what she did.

Next time you hear your mother saying you are stupid, do not shout or argue but just let her know how hurt you are and walk away, she might do some soul searching, if not, just get on with life as she is the one with the problem and not you. Good luck.

Answer 4

I would Brush it off, my parents are the same way. I always confronted them but it just led to worst. I learn to just ignore there negative comments and focus on the positive ones. I tried to make my parents proud  but it seems like whatever I did was never good enough. I thinks that's why i got married Young because i found someone that's proud of who i am and what i have accomplished.  

Answer 5

The real answer to this sort of thing is to always act with dignity and holiness.

It is hard, I know, but it is the only thing that really works.

You will find that no one can fight against someone who refuses to fight back.

If they do, it is nothing but bullying.

So act with dignity, and let her see how wrong she really is.

Answer 6

when parents are in bad mood some they do it

nothink to worry yes you will be sad like any other kid would but maybe they do have ride..

Answer 7

I would confront her, I know confrontation sucks but sometimes it just has to be done. If she denies it just tell her you know what you heard. It is likely that she is not thinking before she is speaking and it does not seem like she is doing it to be nasty, it just sounds like she hasnt got much tact. Does she speak to or about anyone else like that? If so then you know its not directly aimed at you but its just her being her but this does not make it right. She needs to know that she must think before speaking! My sister in law, who is 40, only just told her mum how she had been made to feel her whole life and was glad she finally did it but still wishes that she done it sooner! So take a deep breath and do it! Goodluck!

Answer 8

Well i am the kind of person that always takes jokes...stupid is a word no body should get offended of...it doesn't mean you really are stupid its just a saying...i never let anything like that get to me because life is too short i am not going to sit down and wonder why people think im stupid...I have better stuff to do in life and i am sure you mother did not mean it...every parent loves their children and when they get angry and say those stuff you should know that they still love you...if you were confident in your self you would not let the word stupid get to you!!! dont let youself feel that way be tough i know you can do it!!! everyone can if they try!!

Answer 9

all parents say things in the heat of the moment. if she keeps on though do everything you can to prove her wrong. go out get a good life for yourself  so when your an adult you can show her your a better person than she is. brush it off for now.

Answer 10

it just sounds like your mum is frustrated,sit down with her when your both on your own,and explain in a calm way how you feel,after what you heard, i dont think you a bad issue here,just a lack of communication,dont keep it bottled up,as anger will take the place of confusion x

Answer 11

i am in the exact situation...seriously...well i don't know how old you are. i'm almost 21...yes you are right, it does lower your confidence...but you need to learn to ignore it. think about karma...one day she'll be tormented in the same way...remember one thing...every person must face the consequences of their actions...

now you should try even harder to accomplish your goals in life. it will help gain your confidence and the day will come when you can show her how wrong she was...

Answer 12

if i was in ur place, i've made an issue out of it. but thank god my mama's not like that. but u shud talk to ur mom. tell her that it hurts to be called names wheather she remembers doin it or not. parents are above us. they shud never resort to name calling among themselves (in front of the childrens) and moreso to the childrens. or talk to yr sensible dad again bout this name calling and tell him to suggest to ur mom counselling for her. u shudn't leave tis matter cos if prolonged, its goin to cause more problem in the future and mite draw the distance between u and ur mom or worse still create tension in the household  

Answer 13

I never got on with my Mum when I was younger. She called me names. When people are angry you say things you don't mean. You and your Mother will get on better when you are older and learn to appreciate her more. Sometimes Mums need a break. I'm not saying what she did was right but sometimes things can get to much and you lash out at your nearest and dearest.

Answer 14

it depends on the situation. if they were being serious, then i would take it to heart, but if they were joking, id brush it off.

your mum sound like she was serious. maybe talk to a good friend, or someone close to you about it.