How to respectfully say im not interested in Christianity to my bf's mom??

Question

ok so i have been with my bf for 2 years. he dosent care that im not christian, im not anything actually, but his mother does. every time i see his mother she asks me to go to church with them, and every time i say no thank you. now i could keep this up for the rest of my life (because it really seems like she still dosent get that i dont want to go, even after 2 years) or i could find a way to tell her that i will never be religious and that i respect her decision to worship god, but i wish she would respect my decision to not.

the problem is that im only 16 and i dont think she is going to take me seriously.

oh if your going to say 'why dont you just go to church with her once?' i cant because she is really into her church like she is always there. i know that if i went with her once, and then told her that it wasnt my thing i would never hear the end of going back.

i really love my bf and i really want his mother to like me. i just feel that she would never acept me unless i was christian and thats just not going to happen

any ideas or comments would be apreciated

Answer 1

"I'm sorry, Mrs ... , but I do not share your beliefs. I would rather not deceive myself and your God by going to church with you. I respect your belief, and I would appreciate it if you could reciprocate that respect. Your son seems to be able to handle it, I ask that you do as well."

Answer 2

Say no thank you. God Bless

Good Question.

Answer 3

If you're not comfortable going to her church, why don't you just attend an in-home bible study? You could learn a lot more that way that you won't get sitting in a pew. And frankly, hon, you're only 16. You don't know enough about the world to assess whether there's a God or not. Try having a little life experience first before you reject God outright. I guarantee, God believes in you, and He is patiently waiting for you to return to Him. He loves you very much.

Answer 4

Seems like you are on a good track.  She asks you, you politely decline.  She has hope that someday you will join her in her fantasies.  If you tell her you will never be religious, etc. you take away all her hope and her opinion of you is likely to plummet because you've dashed her hopes of converting you.

Answer 5

i think what you said in your question was really good. let her know what you told us. tell your bf your going to talk to her about it and then maybe he can set something up so you can have a convo with her 1 on 1 or with him aswell. he can be there for support. if she starts attacking your decision to not be christian.  

Answer 6

Tell her you don't mind going to h**l if she wants to go to heaven, but say it like you're joking. Then turn around and tell her you worship Satan and that you would have to kill her if she asks anymore, and laugh all evil like. Problem solved.

Answer 7

hiya bf's mom, can u plz respect my religion?

i rly dont want to convert?

can u accept me the way i am?

Answer 8

Say (only if this is true) that you respect all faiths, hers included,  but you just can't bring yourself to believe in God.

Answer 9

You say your bf doesn't care...but maybe he really does.  It is great when a "family" attends church TOGETHER.  And maybe his mom would like him to date someone that has the same beliefs.  

I have my faith and I don't want anyone to proselytize, but it sure is nice when your bf believes the same things you do.

How far along is he in his faith journey?  Is he confirmed?

Maybe you really need to be talking more to your bf.  Especially if you think this could turn into a life long commitment.  Let him discuss your feelings with his mother. He knows her better and knows how to get her off your case.  Otherwise, start looking for a new love.

Answer 10

Wait until a neutral time, not before her church service, or when you are in a hurry, but when you can both talk. Let her know there is something you need to talk with her about. Explain that her opinion matters to you and she means a lot to you, so you feel that it is important you share how you feel with her. Let her know that you understand why she is asking you to go and that you appreciate where the invitation is coming from. Tell her how you feel just like you did here, with respect, and end with-I hope the invitation to join you is open ended and I can change my mind at any time, but for now, I would appreciate it if you stopped asking me because it makes me feel like you don't accept my choices. I hope this helps.

Answer 11

I think because of your young age she is not going to take you seriously, thinking that she does know what is best for you.  You just have to keep being kind and respectful.  Can your boyfriend have a nice talk with her and explain how you are feeling?

Answer 12

Thank you for your kind invitation, but I am not presently interested in attending, whereas I would love another slice of your delicious cherry pie.

Do not embarrass her nor put her on the spot.  Neither should you involve your boyfriend.  Do not place him into a position of choosing between you and his mother.

Answer 13

Tell her you have your own beliefs (you don't have to tell her what htey are) and that you would appreciate it if she wouldn't try to force hers on you.

Maybe your boyfriend could be of assistance? Ask him to get his mom to lay off. Clearly you're uncomfortable with hte situation, it's not too much to ask to get him to talk to his mother on your behalf.

Answer 14

Hold up a second.

1. "im not anything actually"

That's an interesting way to describe yourself. But as a matter of fact, you are something. Everyone worships something. It just so happens that you choose to worship idols rather than God. Think about it. What do you spend most of your time doing, thinking about, putting money into? That's probably what you worship. It could just be yourself.

2. "i really love my bf"

No you don't. You're 16.

3. "i cant because she is really into her church like she is always there."

Why should that make a difference? You're just trying to find excuses not to go.

But all in all, I suggest you break up with the guy and wait until you are mature enough to be in a relationship and you won't have to worry about this type of thing. Wait until you're in college before dating.

Answer 15

Letting her read your question would be helpful. Maybe a few edits here and there so she doesn't become defensive. You stated it well.

Answer 16

First, find a new boyfriend.

Second, don't worry about being respecful.

Answer 17

First off, Christianity caused europe and america- ever since it came about- to be more morally sound and harder working, and thus more advanced and prosperous than any other nations of the world.

you wouldn't have electricity or cars or a LOT of inventions if it wasn't for christianity spurring european society to work HARD, love thy neighbor, follow laws, dont have "idle hands", etc.

in other words- you would be living in a place similar to "PAGANIST AFRICA" and live in a hut and likely have AIDS or ebola if it weren't for judeo-christian principles

the LEAST u can do is at least ask jesus ONCE, FOR 30 SECONDS, TO COME INTO UR HEART AND FORGIVE UR SINS! IF UR TOO SELFISH AND PRIDEFUL TO EVEN DO THAT, WELL, THATS JUST RIDICULOUS! REALLY? i mean come on!

Answer 18

I know you'll be against it, but it really won't kill you to go just once. She's just trying to do "her job as a Christian", and she really doesn't know that she's annoying you. If you don't like it, then tell her that you're just not interested in the concept. She'll probably want to talk to you about it, but who knows, maybe you'll learn something?

Answer 19

Have your boyfriend tell her. My mom doesn't care that my GF isn't a Christian.  

Answer 20

Jane shoe her this.

I am sure she will stop .

It worked for me.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=...

Answer 21

You're dating him, not his mom.  Be polite but stand your ground.

Answer 22

You are right, do NOT go, not even once. It will only fuel her belief that her behavior is acceptable and effective.

I would wait until you are 18, and then clearly state to her that you are not interested. If you do it politely, it will be more effective. "I love that you care so much about me that you want me to be a part of your religion, but I need you to stop asking me to go to church. I have my own beliefs that I would rather keep private, and it makes me uncomfortable when you pressure me like that."

Answer 23

This is what I would say:

I'm sorry if you'd like me to be a Christian, but I respect your choice to be a Christian, and I'd like you to respect my choice not to be.

Answer 24

What matters most is how your bf feels about your beliefs and if he is strong enough to defend your position to his mother. Some religious people cannot accept non religious people. She may make her son

choose between you and her ultimately. Iron this out now.

Answer 25

Silly woman, tell her your not interested.

Answer 26

Just tell her you believe in Christ's teachings of love, tolerance and being non-judgemental. If you do. If you use the word Christ instead of Jesus it will suggest you believe in his divinity. Go to church it won't kill you, unless it's one of those weird Pentecostal places, it's creepy.

If it's Catholic, Anglican, Presbyterian, United and even Baptist you might learn something.

You are only 16 and not anywhere near closing the book on belief. But I had the same reaction at that age too. Thought I was so cool and I was just a little outre for all of that.

Answer 27

Sit her down and tell her exactly as you told you.  That you "respect her decision to worship god and attend church as she does, and wish that she would respect your decision to not".  Tell her that it doesn't change who you are, what you represent or how you feel about her or her son, you just want everyone to get along without it being awkward and feeling like there's tension between you and her just because you refused to go to church with her.  Have your bf with you when you tell her so that he can back you up on this.  It's important for HIM to let his mother know that it doesn't bother him that you're not religious.