How to say NO to friends/ relatives who expect you to pay for them all the time?

Question

Based from my previous questions: My friends/family think I have a lot of money.

Ever since they found out I have an American bf. I have some friends who expect me to pay for them, like for food... movies.. massage.. and for everything. Some of them are my high school friends, co-workers and relatives.

If you were my situation.. how would you brush them off in a nice way? I don't want to offend them... but I'm just bad with words and I don't want to be rude.

Before I posted this, 2 of my high school friends and I planned to meet this Wed.. of course they demanded that I should "treat" libre them. At first, I said "yes, that's fine" but now... I got my eyes all opened.

I just want your ideas on how to say it without hurting/offending them.

Thanks again!

Answer 1

act like a drama queen... they will listen to you in a heartbeat

Answer 2

Ask them if they understand the meaning of No; if they say they don't, then explain.

Answer 3

Tell them you broke up because he thought you were using up too much of his money. And see what they say. lol  

Answer 4

all you have to do is begin saying "no" to your friends. i also had an experience like that, by saying no, you will know who your REAL friends are.. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

if your friends don't have that much money really to spend but you enjoy their company and you are in tight budget, you can ask them to share the expenses but not on equal sharing.  say for a start you take 50% and the rest split it in equal shares.  

there are some rules to observe though.  if you ask them to go out with you, then the norm thing to do is to take the bill.  if they initiated, you can tell it's a dutch treat.

good luck.

Answer 6

Of course you will offend them. You spoiled them & they want to be spoiled. Just say no.

They are NOT your friends.  

Answer 7

If they are really your friends, they wouldn't do that to you....a simple "let's go out, KKB" should do.....End of discussion.  If they demand that you treat them, then its time to dump them as  are only interested in a free ride.

Answer 8

Ask them all out together, then during dinner, start with something like this:

"Thanks for coming, I'm so happy that you're all here. The reason I really invited you is that I have a huge problem. Let me ask you this question: How do you say 'no' to friends or relatives who expect you to pay for them all the time? Life's becoming kinda hard since I don't want to rely on my boyfriend, but it seems everyone else thinks I'm rich. I'm asking you this since you're the only people I can trust."

That should work.

Answer 9

I think it's your pride outweigh what you want to say to them. Every time they trap you, just tell them straight out that money does not grow on trees.

Answer 10

just tell them

"if you just know my situation, you'll be the one to treat me,for sure"

(kung alam mo lang ang kinalalagyan ko, malamang na ikaw pa ang mag libre sakin"

add:

thank you for being aware and concerned for not giving much financial burden to your boyfriend. And if there are times you are really in the generous mood, try donating to NGO's that are helping women recover and lobby for laws against male's sexual abuses, and to those who are caring and maintaining the welfare of  the environment.

Answer 11

No matter what your gonna say it's going to offend them because that's the way they are. So why even hold back? Just speak your mind. It should go something like this-" I'm trying to survive myself and I don't want to lose this guy because of your financial needs which isn't even of his concern. Before you know it he will start thinking I am a free loader/gold digger only trying to get to his wallet. In time I will try to help out more but for now you guys need to give it a rest, please." (That should work if it were me I'd be really really tougher, you don't even want to know.) But if your family can't accept that then you might as well just tell them that from now on your just going to be thinking for yourself then. But I'm telling you though you need to give it to them straight or else they will never stop. Best of luck

Answer 12

Nip the situation in the bud. This will stress the relationship.

Answer 13

You can tell them before you actually go out that all of you will chip in for what you will be spending when you go out. I don't think that that is offending at all.

They might be bringing up the "You're rich since you have a foreign boyfriend" drama, tell them that you are not married yet and even if you are, you will also make your way to make ends meet. You'll be marrying an American...not an American millionaire. If they resist...then dont go! Enjoy their company by having beer and isaw at your place or theirs.

If you have plans of treating them out though, tell them before you go out how much budget you have for your night out and the remaining will be divided to them.

Bloodsuckers wouldn't know how that feels unless their blood are sucked. Its plain annoying!=c

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edit : What happened to the Green Dude above me? He turned Japanese and lost most of the muscles overnight.=P

Answer 14

when eating out, always request waiter for separate checks. this way it is clear you're not paying for them