How to say it...?

Question

Me and my husband have been married now for 8 years, we are expecting our first child a little girl together in august..

My husband was married before, a while ago when he was 19, they had a son together but his wife died a few days later from complcations during child birth..

So the other night my husband and i were talking about baby names and he said that he would like to name the baby Hannah after his first wife, now i like the name Hannah but I'm just not comfortable with the idea of naming our daughter after his deceased wife, but my husband seems set on naming the baby that and i don't really know how to break it to him that i don't want to, so how do i tell my husband that i don't want to name the baby that?

Answer 1

ask your husband why it's important to him to name her Hannah? and then go on to talk about your new baby and new life and new beginning. talk about making peace with the past (hannah) and moving on from the past.

if you name your baby girl hannah, in his subconscious mind he is holding on to his wife's memory.

Answer 2

Be right up front with him, tell him how you feel. perhaps Hannah could be a middle name, that way your baby has her name but only as a middle name or even a third name.

I'm a widower, but if I were to remarry I would either like to have a baby girl and name her Pat, her name, or Lauren her favorite name.

Answer 3

Your husband is who he is today because of what he has been through in the past. You have been part of his past,very much his present and hopefully the rest of his future. His first wife was also part of his past. You did not mention if his son is still present in his and your lives. If so maybe this is his way of honoring her, for the sake of their child. His love for his first wife is not a reflection of his love for you. Just explain to him that you are not comfortable with naming your child after her. Maybe you can compromise with another name from his family, maybe his mom or grandmother,even as a middle name.

Answer 4

i agree i think you should be honest. This is something you have to live with for the rest of your life, and it would be horrible to be reminded of this every time you look at your own flesh and blood. and it may also lead to you havin an issue with your daughter because of this when in fact it would be no fault of hers. hope this helps and good luck

Answer 5

Why not tell him that you dont want to name the baby that, but find another way to bring her into the situation. Perhaps you can purchase a charm and have it engraved with a saying and tell him that the baby will always have the necklace, whatever, so she will always know that her 'guardian angel' is looking out for them?

Answer 6

just tell him, after 8+ years of knowing him, i wouldnt get shy now........be strict and to the point, that it is NOT an option, h**l give me his number i will tell him hahahahahhahaha j/k

honesty is the best policy, the more you wait the harder it will get to spill the beans......

Answer 7

I think the best thing you can do is be honest. I'm sure he will be a little hurt but it's better you tell him now.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

how about a compromise?

that is a delicate situation - having a spouse die at any age would be devastating - had she not died.....would you be married to your husband???

since you do like the name Hannah, why not use it as a middle name or choose a middle name you like better and call her by that -

it is not like his first wife is competition for you......