How to say no to hand me downs?

Question

I'm pregnant with my first child. My sister in law is really persistent about giving me all of her old children's things- crib, mattress, clothes, etc. It is a sweet gesture, but to put it nicely, these things are "worn" (they've been through 2 kids). I've filled out a registry, and think that I'll be able to get most of the things that my husband and I have chosen for our new nursery. I feel like it's rude to decline, but I don't want to take on her stuff for two reasons- 1) I don't want to offend her if she notices we don't use her stuff and 2) I don't feel like driving to the junkyard to discard of the things we don't want.

Any tactful suggestions- I know she's just trying to be helpful and generous...

Answer 1

either take them and don't use them or tell her that it's ok and that you would rather her to keep them for memory

Answer 2

How about it is your first child and you want his first furniture to be his own..  Whatever the babe, he/she certainly wouldn't mind what crib you use.

Answer 3

Just thank her for being so generous but say that you've already got that covered.

One thing: your baby will be going through clothing quite quickly (also children). I was just at a yard sale and they were selling these beautiful baby clothes for a quarter each! And this town is full of upper income people, so perhaps they buy only the best yet sell it for peanuts. I got a smashing gingham dress for $1! Recyling is so important right now! We are a nation of consumers, and we should be SAVERS, not spenders! Plus, it's better for the planet to re-use!

Answer 4

Just thank her for thinking of you, maybe take a couple of outfits,  and tell her you think you already have all of your other baby stuff covered.

Answer 5

Tell her you don't want them. Honesty is best. She will be hurt if you accept them then thrash them.

Answer 6

Sounds like you are banking on that baby shower.  What if you don't get everything you want?  Plus kids go through onesies like there is no tomorrow.  Is all that stuff really in that bad of shape?

Answer 7

Let her know you want to have new things for your child, as she did for her child. She may not know what else to do, so suggest donating the items to a charity.

Answer 8

With a smileon your face and a twinkle in your eye tell her, "No thanks. We are trying to do the ugliest baby room and have the  ugliest clothes ever. We're sorry that we can't use your things. They are way to nice." Then just LAUGH! ! ! ! !

After you have quite laughing, calm down and say, "No, not really. But we do have everything picked out that we want and people have already started to buy from our list. So we won't need anyof your nice things."

Answer 9

tell her you already have picked out most of the stuff you want and maybe take a few things from her to make her feel good whatever you dont use you can always donate or pass on to someone who does need them...or maybe even better tell her you have everything you need and maybe she could donate all of the things she doesnt need anymore to goodwill or something

Answer 10

Just say thank you but we are really looking forward to getting new things such as a crib, furniture for baby and clothing.  You could tell her you'll go thru the clothing after the baby is born too what you might be able to use, by then you'll have the clothes you need before baby comes.

Answer 11

Just keep it short and sweet....

"Thank You but we have a lot a it covered already. It's really sweet of you to offer. Thanks!"

And walk away.

Don't make too big of a deal out of it.

It's your first child...You allowed to have what you want. :)

Answer 12

Even if you use her things, you won't be using them all the time.  So she won't know if you don't use them.  

Especially in the first months, you may use more baby stuff than you think.  They pee or p**p every 25 minutes, you know.

So accept the things with thanks.  Then you can donate all of it to one of those crisis pregnancy aid places, or to a thrift store.  If there's a lot, they will probably come to pick it up.