How to say they need to pay???

Question

we are getting married on a very tight budget, can anyone come up with a poem or saying, that explains that the guest has to pay for there own lunch and drinks?

im really stuck and i dont want to sound like a srouge.

Answer 1

It is never, ever, ever acceptable to ask your guests to pay for their meal. You are hosting a party. They are your guests. YOU are expected to provide whatever refreshments you choose.

Either elope, cut your guest list, or find a cheaper meal option.

If you can't afford lunch for your guests, how will you afford your life together?

Answer 2

Um, sorry, if you are expecting them to pay for their own meal and drinks, they are no longer "guests" they are now "customers."  No tacky/cutesy poem is going to cover up for the fact that you are literally CHARGING people to come to your wedding!  Either just serve cake and coffee or wait until you can afford to treat your guests LIKE guests.  You wouldn't charge someone for a cup of coffee in your own living room....what makes it OK to do so at your wedding? Ughh/

Answer 3

ignore that stck up peson below me..people dont expect things to be paid for at weddings.

I havent got any poems just at the top of my head but you can goodle "wedding poems" and see what you come up with..most people I know of have used google for the likes of cards about the registry or wishing well.

Answer 4

pay for their meal????? and i thought a cash bar was tacky! Believe me, i'm not stuck up, I just think that if you're going to invite people to an event, you can't expect them to pay for everything....and give you a gift!  do appetizers and dessert to help cut costs.  i agree with others saying that if you can't even afford the food, then don't have a party. sorry.  good luck!

Answer 5

all i have done is rang them and told them they have to pay 25 quid for their own meals, im payin for their first drinks and the buffe

Answer 6

Coming from someone who has just been to a friends wedding that cost us $65 a head, I would say that it is rude to ask. As a mother of 2 small kids money is very tight and it was my husband and I that went so that was $130. We would never pay that much on someones wedding present, maybe not even my own family's. Some might call me a Scrooge but in this day and age most people don't have that kind of money laying around. If each guest ended up only paying about $30 then I guess that would be OK but if they are paying for their meal then they shouldn't have to pay for drinks or buy a gift, and that should be included with the invite.

Answer 7

I don't think you are any of the above things that some people have said.

I know where you are coming from I was in the same position, but have decided to go for an afternoon buffet meal and yes my guest will be paid for, but as it is the middle of the day if they choose to have a drink they will be paying for it themselves.

It is ok for others to say cut down your list but when you do that the cost becomes more per head and not many places have a room you can use unless you have at least 70 guests.

I found a few things online when I was thinking of do this and here they are I would word them a bit differently, but they may give you an idea.

We would love for you to help us celebrate at ..... and than join us for dinner at .... we already have everything we could possible need, so to help us make the night a wonderful one it would greatly help us if you could contribute $xx towards dinner.

OR

We are sending out this invitation,

And hope you will join our celebration.

If to send a gift is your intention,

In modesty we'd like to mention,

We've already got a kettle and toaster,

Crockery, clocks and even coasters.

A present for us that would be ideal

Would be the payment for your meal.

But, most importantly, we request,

That you turn up as our wedding guest.

I think this one is good but may also give the inpression that it is an option.

You could also perhaps try to have a wishing well instead of gifts.

One thing is perhaps to choose a place that is not too expensive and pay half perhead that way you can ask for a contribution of say 15 - 20 per head from the guests.

Answer 8

This is absurdly outrageous.  You should not have a reception at all if you are going to have your guests pay for their own lunch and drinks.  You will sound worse than any Scrooge.  Do not do this, just get married and let everyone go on home. I have see people with so little money and still they manage not to charge guests to come to the reception.

Answer 9

you are a scrooge.  you want people to pay for their own meal?  id rather go to a steakhouse than some low budget wedding.  maybe you should serve drinks first than hit them up for money.

Answer 10

I agree it's not the best... but instead, why don't you ask several people who you're really close to, i.e. parents to make a contribution to your reception instead of giving you a present.  Then, just have a small wedding, a cash bar might be okay, but you definitely need to provide at least food and fruit juice.  And in return stipulate that you do not want presents.

Answer 11

You are not a scrooge. You are an impolite, mannerless dreamer who wants a wedding she can't afford. Go to a wedding officiant, have a short ceremony at his office, then suggest to your friends that you want to celebrate with a house party. Get a keg and order in pizza. You can not expect to have a celebrity wedding if you're on a limited income so don't try to compete. If you want to send out invites asking people to buy their own food, you will find that NO POEM OR MESSAGE will do the deed nicely.

Edit: MelB, you hit the nail right on the head!!!

Answer 12

Friend! While you have a stringent budget, you may invite less number of people...further you may request them to bring a large pack of delicious food to serve to the guests!!  So it will be a picnic sort of marriage at a right place...

Answer 13

I wouldn't advise telling people they have to pay on their own! How about do something easy/fairly cheep like a pig picking? If you don't know what that is it's just cooking a pig, some boiled potatoes, some cake and stuff like that. Google it! I wouldn't tell people they have to pay for their own food. It would personally p**s me off a little.

Answer 14

Generally, you cannot ask people to pay for food if you are hosting a reception, but it is acceptable to do so if you are going to a restaurant after the ceremony (like a wedding of twenty).  If the latter is the case, simply spread this information by word of mouth, being sure to express regret that you cannot afford to pay for people's meals each time you tell someone.

Answer 15

I don't know if making people pay are the right way to go about it. I mean if that is what you prefer then by all means go for it.

I would suggest this though. There are a lot of people who love to cook. Why don't you ask people to bring food and drinks with them? Then display them on a shared table and let people help themselves.

A friend of the family did this. Not for the whole dinner but he had his family and friends bring desserts with them and it was a big success as homebaked items are usually better than store-bought anyway.

I know a lot of answers say that you should cut down on your guest list but in the end, it's your wedding day and of course you want all of your friends and family to come. Also, since they do know you then I'm sure they will also know that maybe you cannot afford to pay for a lavish meal.

You have to realise though that people will probably buy wedding gifts, dresses, shoes, pay for taxis, hotel rooms and I don't know to come to your wedding. To ask them to pay for the food as well seems a bit unfair.

Hope it all works out and have a great wedding!!

Answer 16

Sorry, you simply can't do this, there's no way to make this sound polite at all.  You can't invite people, and then say "you've got to pay for your meal."  

What you need to do is scale back.  If you can't afford to feed your guests a meal, that's absolutely fine--there's nothing in the etiquette bible that says you must feed your guests.  Have your reception during a non-meal time (like ceremony at 2, reception at 4) and have it be cake and punch only.  With a timeline like that, no one will be expecting a meal.  Eliminate the alcohol, that's a major expense.  

Whatever you do, please DON'T go into debt for this--it's simply not worth it.  Remember, this is your wedding day, but your marriage is so much more important.  That's what will last a lifetime.  Best wishes.

Answer 17

Are you planning on taking a honeymoon?

If you are then try a destination wedding.  Generally you can get the wedding for a flat fee as part of your trip.  Not many people can afford to make the trip, so your guest list will be very small.

Otherwise have Uncle Al BBQ and Aunt Margret make beans and salad.

Answer 18

Unfortunately they are GUESTS if you invite them then you are obliged to provide for them you can ask them to bring their own alcohol but that's about it.

If you are on a tight budget definitely cut down on your guest list, if you don't want to upset anyone then explain to them why you only have a small guest list.

If you want to keep it small keep it to family only and no friends. If they're friends they'll understand

Answer 19

It is not appropriate to tell your guests they have to pay for their own food and drinks - particularly if you expect presents.

I have NEVER heard of this.  If you cannot afford to get married with friends and family - get married just with your witnesses or mom and dad, go out as a group.  Then, afterwards have a party where people bring their own food and drinks e.g. a BBQ in a park.

Answer 20

If you can't afford to feed your guests a meal, have a dessert only reception or even just cake and punch.  It is NEVER okay to ask for people to buy their own food at a party you are throwing.

If you do the cake and punch make sure it is on the invitation Cake and Punch to follow so people are not expecting food.

Answer 21

There is no nice way to say you have to pay for your own food and drinks. And bring a wedding gift too? Weddings aren't conducted that way. If you have a tight budget,. have a small ceremony, with cake and punch,.. or limit the people you can afford,.. or get married and latter on have a huge pot luck picnic to celebrate,. Otherwise,. forget about asking guest to pay.. Look up the etiquette about weddings on line or in a book..

Answer 22

You gotta be kidding me.

People get married on tight budgets all the time, especially now since the economy is uncertain. How do they do it? They cut the guest list down, or they serve cake & punch (no meal) in the middle of the afternoon.

There is no poem or cute saying that is going to mask the rudeness of having people pay for themselves.

By the way... "guest" means you are treating them, not they are treating themselves.

Answer 23

Sorry but asking guests to pay for their own food and drinks is tacky. Skip the lunch.

Answer 24

you can not invite guests to a wedding and ask them to pay for thier meals.  Cash bar is acceptable and that can be metioned on a wedding website but it is very poor manors to not offer food.

Answer 25

There is no cute poem or saying. Sorry.

You only invite those people that you can afford to have food for...if you can't do food, do cake and punch.

Answer 26

You're going to sound like a scrooge. It kind of sounds like you are. I don't think you should bother having a reception if you can't afford to at least pay for food. Its very tacky. All you're saying to the guests are "buy me presents AND pay for your own meal"

I would feel very insulted if I were invited to a wedding like this

Answer 27

OK, going by the replies you're not s'posed to ask guests to pay for their meal. Maybe you can make the reception a morning or afternoon tea instead. Make it finger food with tea, coffee and cakes aswell. Oh, and probably cut the guest list to essentials only.

Answer 28

I have never heard of this before. Making guests pay for their own meal, there is no nice way of saying this don;t have a reception then.  just have close friends and family meet somewhere and to celebrate and let them know you situation.

Answer 29

1. You're invited to celebrate,

Bring some money to pay for your plate!

2. Friends & family of all years,

join us, shed some tears.

*blank* & *blank* marry on this day

Reluctantly, we ask you to pay.

While costs of marriage may overwhelm,

Our love is priceless in this realm.

I just made these up. I hope that if these don't work out that they at least can give you help for an idea.

Congratulations on your wedding!

Answer 30

A million times NO. You CANNOT ask your guests to pay for their food and drinks at your wedding. The whole reason food and drink is served at receptions is that it's the new couple's way of saying "Thank you for travelling to share in our day, here's some sustenance for the trip" (simple etiquette). Either cut back on your guest list to a number of people you can afford to feed, or just have a cake and punch reception. Whatever you decide, make sure you have enough to feed everyone.

ADDED: Obviously contrary to popular belief, not having a reception at all is just about as bad as making people pay for their food. Also, since these would be your guests, asking them to bring food would be frowned upon as well since you should be serving them. Although the main point of the reception is to have the families meet, mingle, and celebrate, the other point of it is to (as stated before) provide some sort of "thank you" to your guests for travelling to see you get married. I'd be pretty peeved if I'd bought a couple a wedding present and then was asked to pay for my meal at their wedding. Honestly, if I saw such a request in an invitation to a wedding, I'd throw the invitation away.

You don't have to spend a ton of money. Having some chicken strips, finger sandwiches, crackers & dip, and punch will not break the bank and can look great when its set up right.

It would be extremely rude to tell your guests that they will have to pay to eat and drink.

Answer 31

Below is an idea it isnt a poem but this is a good way to say it i hope this helps

Desiree and Michael Russell

together with

Betty and Lionel Wise

are delighted to invite ...

to celebrate the marriage of

Kylie & Alistair

at The Roslyn Court Homestead Gardens

33-35 Raleigh Street Essendon

on Saturday 24th January 2004

at 4.30p.m

to be followed by a reception in

"The Gilbertson Room"

The Roslyn Court Homestead

Commencing with cocktails at 6pm

R.S.V.P.

$70 per head

7th January 2004