How to solve family dispute.. or help?

Question

let me give you a bit of background info.. my mom has recently had two brains surgeries and is recovering and my brother also had one, all in one summer. so we are trying to adjust. me and my brother occasionally fight but he has been rather difficult lately. i try to get along but sometimes i just want to go to my mom to vent.. i was supposed to get my license tomorrow but my brother complained about my step brothers tonight, even tho they were perfectly fine and now my step dad says we are ungrateful and he feels like he does everything for us and all we do is complain about his sons. i feel bad and idk how i could help the situation.. i don't care about my license although my brother did ruin it for me. any suggestions?

Answer 1

last night i was at my dads house home alone and a guy broke into our house and all the alarms went off and police didnt come when i called so i went out there after 20 minutes of being in my room with the door locked with my gun and dirtbike keys. and he was gone. then my dad came home and i tried to hug him but he shoved me away and started yelling at me then i found out i got into student council at my school, and only 10 poeple get into it out of 450 pople, so i tried telling my dad and he started cussing at me for no reason. what should i do with this. i try elling how i feel, but he gives me the cold shoulder and yells me away

Answer 2

Please understand that your dad is in a bigger pressure-cooker than you are... he has to not only try to help these two relatives through their medical crises, but also has to earn a living to keep a roof over everyone's heads. There are a lot of demands on him, and unfortunately that means that you have gotten the short end of the stick.

See if your dad can still take you to get your license, if not this week, maybe next week. With that, you can help out by doing the grocery shopping and whatever other errands... dry cleaning and what-not. You could also drive your brother and mom to their doctor's appointments, if needed.

The next thing is to try not to allow your brothers to bait you into any kind of argument. Learn to diffuse that... how about saying, "I'm sorry you feel that way" and then walking off? You get the idea.

Answer 3

it is a litle confusing determining which brothwer you are talking about when you say yiou fight with your brothr and a brother ruined getting your license.

If you want to help, write down all the things you apprec iate about youe stepdad and make o buy him a card and put the list in there..tell him you are sorry you upset him and you do appreciate all he does.

Also make a list of things you like about his sons and give him a copy of that too..he will probably share it with them and even if he doesn't he will feel a little relief.

It is ok to fight with your siblings sometimes and vent with your mom..ask her to keep your venting confidential and ask how you can help each situation as it arises.  If she feels she cannot keep it from her husband what you said and it upsets him to hear it, find someone else to vent to..like a friend or relative you can trust or call a teen crisis line and ask if you can talk to someone about how you feel as you are very upset..they are generally very understanding..any crisis line with a toll free number can be called..just be sure to block your number.  These are very helpful and actually sometimes better than a relative as they are objective but also quite helpful and supportive (like a suicide prevention line will talk to you even if you aren't suicidal as long as they do not have a crisis on another line)

It will be ok and so sorry to hear about your family's misfortune..your step dad is probably very stressed out right now. I said a little prayer for you and your family..

Answer 4

hi hon.. it sounds like there is a lot of stress in your household right now -- two people having surgeries just this summer would be difficult for everyone... and i'm sure your stepfather has been through a lot, considering what you've said.

the best thing i can think of is to let your step father know you realize that the family has been through a lot over the last months, and you just want to help, not add to the stress.  Maybe you would both feel better.

I know it's sometimes hard to tell other people how we feel, but once we do, things seem to go a little smoother.. and i'm sure your step father would appreciate knowing how you're feeling, too.

take care and i hope your mom and brother recover well.  sending all best thoughts.

Answer 5

Why does your brother not like his step brothers?  And what has your brother talking about them have to do with your getting your license?

You are being punished for something your brother did or said.  Go to your step dad and tell him this.  Explain that you really need to take your test tomorrow to get your license.  That what happened was not your fault.

Good luck,