How to start adopting?

Question

I would like to adopt a baby But my DH and I don't know where to begin. How do I start what does it cost, any one who has been there some advice please

Answer 1

Hi

Great that you are looking into adoption, you need to say where you are as the whole system is different from place to place and country to country.  As you are asking about costs, I am guessing you must be in the States, so I can't help you, but I do wish you and your husband well - take care and go for it!

Answer 2

where do you live? You may want to start looking at foster care in your sate. Otherwise try this....

http://www.adoptuskids.org/

http:/www.AmericanAdoptions.com/      

http://www.adoption.com/

http://www.adopting.org/

Answer 3

we are going down that road, now, however our road was a little different. We actually had a friend (mother to our Godson) COME to us after an unplanned pregnancy to adopt her child and since she and the father has had time to think about it, we are going forward.

Ours will be a private adoption and our costs will be roughly a little over 4 grand.

Our atty only charges about $2500, but that doesn't include homestudy (about $1,000) and post placement fees, etc.

Answer 4

The first thing you want to do is sit down with your spouse and discuss exactly what you want.  Do you have a preference for age, s*x, ethnicity?  Then, you need to have a heart to heart.  This is an emotional roller coaster, and it isn't always easy.  Talk with your family about your plans.  Get them behind you.

Then, find a good adoption attorney.  He/she will have the knowledge and contacts to make your wait as short as possible.  They will also be able to answer YOUR questions.

Put together a profile.  This is a small "marketing flyer" about you as a couple, and as individuals.  Ours was about 10 pages, mostly pictures and short paragraphs.

The costs depend on so many things.  You should plan to spend about $30,000, plus have another $2,000-$3,000 for baby stuff, by the time the adoption is final (usually 6 - 12 months after you take legal custody).

Answer 5

If you adopt through foster care, it's free in most states, and very low cost in others.  You also may be reimbursed through your state for any adoption related expenses, plus your child will have his/her medical paid for by the state until s/he turns 18.  Children in foster care need homes, and you can almost guarantee a child waiting for a family in foster care was removed from their family's home for a very good reason.  If you choose international or domestic infant adoption programs, you run the risk of an unethical adoption, adopting a child who could very well have been raised just fine by his/her mother, or a child who was coerced away from his/her parents.  These programs are both rife with shady practices, coercion, baby farming, etc.  Adoption is big business in every other setting except foster care (and even in some states' foster care programs).

Anyway, there's some information for you to chew on and think over.  Here are some things you can do to get yourself ready:

Read "Helping children cope with separation and loss", "The primal wound", "Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew", and adoptee blogs.  Stick around here and learn as much as you can.  Talk to adoptees, talk to advocates of reform in adoption.  Keep an open mind, and just learn as much as you can.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

Ok first thing you want to do is find a lawyer who specializes in adoption.  It will make the rest of the process much easier seeing how they will know the law and good places to find a baby.

You also need to be prepared to have to go through anywhere from 8 to 14 months of home studies and credit and background checks before you will even be put on a list as available adoptive parents and then have to wait another 3 to 18 months before you get a child. Sometimes longer depending how picky you are about the birthmother smoking, age, ethnicity etc...  You will also need anywhere from 8-40 thousand dollars to pay all the court costs, fees, and any expenses the birthmother may want you to pay.  Just do your research and find a good lawyer and you will be alright.

All those websites are very good.  Also just a side note.  Banks so have special loans just for couples or singles who want to adopt but don't have 40 grand in the bank.  They have special rates and terms.  Also you can claim up to 11 grand off your taxes for adopting which helps pay for the loan eventually, but you can ask your lawyer all about that.  Good luck and just be patient.