How to stop children from conning my son out of his lunch?

Question

my son has pdd-nos and he is 7 years old in 1st grade. i just learned that some of the kids in his class are telling him that "if you give me your (lunchable or chips or cookies etc) i will be your friend."my son has sencory processing issues and does not understand what they are doing to him.my question is what can i do to stop this from happening? how should i go about addressing it with the school? i provide my son his lunch, he will not eat the school lunches, and now i find out other kids are eating what i send for him.all my son wants is a friend or someone to give him a minute out of there day and they are taking advantage of it. if anyone has experianced this or has some info or direction i can take i would appriciate it. thanks for reading. kit-kat

Answer 1

My heart just breaks for your lil guy!!

You may be able to talk to the lunch ladies/men.  I know that they are almost always accomodating in these situations.  Maybe they would be willing to keep an eye on him and when a kid starts smoozing him she can walk over and be the thought process for your son.  She can say things like 'Don't you want your food. Your mom made that special for you and I think she intended for you to eat it. Friendship shouldn't cost you anything.'  She can 'help' him say no.  She can also tell the other kids ' how would you feel if you didnt get lunch?  That isn't a very nice thing to do'  She can guilt them.  Your son will see the process and might begin picking up on it and will be able to say no by himself in time.

Some teachers will also give up the beginning of their lunch to sit and observe and catch the kids doing it.  Not all kids are bad and at that age I don't know if they realize what damage they are doing.  I hear my kids say that all the time 'If you do this or give me this than I will be your friend'  or ' If you don't do this or that I won't be your friend'  Sadly I think this is a phase for that age.  But that certainly does not make it right.

As a side suggestion... I don't know what state you live in, we have lived all over the country.  My oldest son has similar problems to yours and on a fluke we enrolled him in a Christian private school here.  It was cheaper than day care so we went for it.  I am currently preg and stopped working, but we could never imagine putting our kids in public school again.  Some states the tuition is outrageous while others it is not.  Do a thorough search on  private schools in your area and see how much they cost.  The improvment in my son is outstanding!  Kids aren't allowed to do what these kids are doing to your son.  They are always supervised and this behaviour is nipped in the bud, giving kids like ours the opportunity to learn how to handle themselves socially without having to discern between the 'good and bad' kids.

I hope this helped and God bless your lil boy.  I really would be willing to bet that his teachers and lunch staff would be willing to help curb this.  Good Luck!!!  (the bright side is that even though this seems just overwhelming at times... it gets better with age!)

Answer 2

I have a PDD-NOS, and the elementary years were h**l.  But I know that he would have jumped off the Empire State Building if someone would have promised to be his friend.  Talk to the teachers or lunch monitors.

TX Mom

Answer 3

this is horrible. noone ever did that to me..... though i have faced bullies. The way i got rid of them is i waited until highschool was over. then everyone went to different colleges and it was naturally resolved. Tell your son to be more outgoing.... tell him its ok to try to talk to fellow classmates... and the worst that can happen is that they dont want to (highly unlikely though). whatever you do... dont do what my mom is... she came to school to talk to the kids and tried to make them my friends....... horrible experience! i wanted to vanish!

Answer 4

Talk to the teacher there should be a "We do not trade foods" policy in your school anyway because of the allergy problem. In my daughters school the teachers are sitting at the same table as the students, so maybe your son could sit close to the teacher and this might stop the others. But anyway you should definitely talk to the teacher.

Answer 5

tell your kid to not let other kids take his lunch.

Answer 6

That is so mean.

Someone needs to be monitoring these children.

Contact the school and tell them kids are cheating your son out of his lunch and you are worried about his nutrition and him being able to pay attention in class because he is hungry.

There should be a noon aid or something watching to make sure everyone only eats their lunch!

Tell your son his food is his and no one is allowed to eat it except him no matter what!

You could maybe add a special treat in at the end of the day if he doesn't let anyone eat his lunch!

Answer 7

talk to his teachers coz arnt these other kids getting lunches.

n maybe the teachers can talk to the students or the parents ur son should be able to eat his lunch in peace...

At my sons school they eat there lunch in the class room then go have a play coz so many kids have had elergic reaction to nuts, bananas...etc so the teachers have to watch what the kids eat also any traces of nut are banned from the school...

Answer 8

talk with the principal and tell him whats going on, maybe he could be a little assistance.

Answer 9

I have a 5 yr old and he comes home hungry because people take his lunch. He too, refused to eat the school food. I have complained to the school but they told me if he gets up from the table there is nothing they can do.  WHICH I feel is bs.  I have had kids talk my other children out of their money.  it is so hard when you aren't there.  All you can keep doing is telling him NOT to trade or give it away.  Good luck  I am in the same boat

Answer 10

If you can send something so incredibly healthy that even your child wouldn't eat, and tell your child you are teaching the kids a lesson, to eat their own lunch and not his!  I think it would put a stop to the asking.