How to stop lying?

Question

My four year knows she is not suppose to go outside without permission. She ran out the door today, and came back in fast and thought no one saw her. My husband asked her if she went outside and she said no. My husband made her admit she did, and then he gave her a spanking for lying to him about it. When I got home from shopping my four year old told she got a spanking for telling a story. My question is, is spanking such a good punishment for lying? In a way does it make a child lie? I mean I think she should of been spanked for going out, no questions. But how is the best way to handle lying? It may work, it just didn't seem to work all that well for my two older kids

Answer 1

The bible says spanking is good for a child. The system doesnt that is why that little girl and hundreds of other little children are no longer with us. Teach her why she shouldnt lie and the consequences of what might happen if she goes outside alone.

Answer 2

Kids are learning to experience different things at that age and learning tons of new things. Lying is something natural that happens when you dont want to admit stuff or change the reality, a kid learns this at a very early age.

Make her understand the concequences of lying (the negatives at least) through simple concepts that she can relate to at her age and tell her all the positive stuff that comes when she tells the truth. A spanking is a physical affirmative that you are very upset when she lies.

It's also very important that people don't lie around her, cause if people do lie and get away with stuff as she grows up she will learn that lying could have a lot of "positives" for her, not realizing all the problems it brings.

Answer 3

tell her she'll go to h**l. :) thats wut my friends mom did and my friend never lied since XD - o and describe what h**l is so tey kno wut it is

Answer 4

She will still lie but just learn to cover it up more to avoid the spanking.  Timeouts would have been fine for lying but at 4 years old many children don't realize that a lie is a lie they just think they are telling a story to you.  Also if they think they will get a spanking for doing something they will lie.

Answer 5

She is a child. They are going to test limits. Now you and your husband need to get on the same page or this child will continue to run rings around you. She is four, imagine what it will be like when she is 13. You need to implement the rules of the house and stand by them. Give the appropriate consequence for the behavior. Kids are very smart these days. Your child sound very bright. It also sounds like you might have other things going on as well. Dad and Mom must be in control at all times. Spanking may not always be a good choice  for consequences. Lets be consistent all the time.

Answer 6

You need a lie detector.

Answer 7

I believe spanking works when used when needed. If a child is doing something that puts them in danger of getting hurt or worse then a well timed spank may just save a life. My oldest went through the whole lying stage and she actually did the same thing, went outside while I was alseep in the middle of night by climbing on a chair and a comp. desk to unlock the chain lock. She lied about it and she got spanked for that one! hasn't done it since. But we also sat her down and told her all of the bad stuff that could have happened, basically she was getting punished for going outside without me more than lying.

When its just a little lie like for instance saying her room is clean when it isn't she will get corner time or something taken away for awhile. she has pretty much stopped already!

You can def. tell who here has kids and who doesn't!

Answer 8

maybe shes lying because she thinks if she tells you the truth shell get a spanking. no one likes to be spanked. well, not in a disciplinary way anyways. try taking her favorite things away instead. my little brother used to lie just to avoid a punishment. she knows she wasnt allowed outside- so if she admitted it, she knew shed probably get spanked. but your husband spanked her anyways. tell her that it was VERY BAD and dangerous, and because she disobeyed you...then she has to pick or give you her favorite toys or books for a couple days. Restriction always worked better on me than spankings (and i was a holy terror) so maybe you should try that. good luck!

Answer 9

u should not spank ur kids!!!! that is child abuse and the stricter u r with ur kids the harder it will be to raise them. my dad used to smack my arm when i was bad when i was little about ur kid's age i will never forgive him for that. u should talk to her and do something smart like a small punishment for going out with out permission like if i were u i would have two bowls of jellybeans or pennies or something. when she does the right thing u put in a handful of jellybeans to the good bowl (u label it) then u take it out and put it back in the other bowl if she is bad then at the end of the week she gets something good like a cheap toy depending on if the bad bowl is empty or not. U should never resort to hurting ur kids. Creative parenting ideas are so much easier. and its obviously not working!!!!

Answer 10

u just have to work with the child and see what gets to him maybe telling her monsters coming to get you or i wont love you anymore simple little things can help ur child stop lying they're small so they wont think ur lying about monsters and all that lol just try workin with her. Spanking may not be a favorite alternative but it can be used slightly as a disciplinary action that way the child will know you mean business

Answer 11

im not a parent and im only 20 but i dont think spanking is a good way to discipline your children

Answer 12

Discipline. Show her who's boss. If there's a time when she just won't flat out listen, sure go ahead. But nothing too hard! That's child abuse!

Answer 13

i am 19 and i have a 9 month old. i have thought bout this question  in the future i know spanking seems ok but they are thinking of ways to get out of it so they lie if you dont raise your hand high they aint gonna lie good look

Answer 14

well spanking them would make them wanna lie.  idk if u should spank them....try somthing else

Answer 15

I have no children but have taken child psychology classes in college. My advice would be try using other forms of punishment than spanking when you catch her in lies. Trying giving her timeout in the corner for x amount of time. It will give her more time to actually think about why she shouldn't lie than a spanking would.